Theology of Sexuality (Sex Series: Week 1)

KNU International English Church

Josh Broward

November 1, 2009

Sometimes people ask me why we are doing a sermon series on sex. One of my pastor friends was completely shocked when I told him. It’s dangerous and difficult to talk about sex so publicly. People might get offended. I might say something wrong. This is a hard topic to talk about, so why are we doing it.

Well, sexuality is an essential part of our humanity. We might avoid talking about our sexuality, but we can’t avoid our sexuality. It is always with us because it is part of our humanness.

Also, sex has deep spiritual and theological implications. We’ll talk about that more today.

And, we’re talking about sex simply because it is dangerous and difficult to talk about. We shouldn’t take the easy way out. We should run into the most difficult, most dangerous topics and address them directly. We should live in the storm of life because it doesn’t stop storming just because we talk about nice things.

To be honest, it was kind of hard to get this series started. I couldn’t find any jokes that wouldn’t get me fired. I didn’t even try to find any videos that were … appropriate. And Sarah made me promise not tell any personal stories.

The way some Christians talk about sex, one wonders how Christians ever have children. Sometimes, Christians have said some pretty bad things about sex. So we’ll start by talking about some of the negative views on sex that Christians have held or taught. You shout them out, and we’ll write them down. ….

[I’ll let them give as many as possible, and then I’ll add the rest from my list – but don’t include this in the printed text.]

• Sex is dirty or bad.

  • Sex is only for procreation.

• Sex is a necessary evil.

• Sex is just a wife’s duty to her husband.

• If a person gets pleasure out of sex, s/he is bad.

• God hates homosexuals.

• We should be ashamed of our bodies and our sexuality.

• The woman’s duty is to submit to her husband whenever he wants it.

• No contraceptives; any “unnatural” birth control measures are wrong.

• The “Virgin” Mary (Supposedly she never had sex even after Jesus was born because that would “defile” her. Jesus’ brothers were supposedly half-brothers from Joseph’s previous marriage.)

• Jesus was supposedly born by supernatural C-section, so that he would not have to pass through Mary’s sexual organs, and so that all the parts of virginity would still be in place for Mary.

[Put a big red “X” over the board.] I am delighted to tell you that this is not the Christian perspective on sex.

The Bible begins with sexuality. The story of creation holds the roots of human sexuality. Let’s read parts of Genesis chapters 1 and 2. (Genesis 1:1-5, 26-31; 2:4-7, 18-25).

The first most basic truth for us to realize here is that God created us as sexual beings. (To which I say, “Thank God!”) God created us as male and female. We have male or female DNA and male or female body parts. Everything we do in the world is as a male or a female. Our sexuality is basic to who we are.

Second, we are more than sexual beings. (To which I say, “Thank God!”) Adam was still a human being before Eve was made. One of the most famous romantic movie lines is, “You complete me.” It sounds great, but it just isn’t true. No human being can complete another. Adam and Eve made life better for each other. They helped each other, but they didn’t complete each other. Adam was a full and complete human being before Eve came along. You are complete whether you are married or single. Our identity, our worth, and our sense of meaning as people are not limited to our sexuality. We can be whole people with or without a satisfying sex life.

Third – and this is huge! – our sexuality is good. God was not surprised when the first humans had sex! He wasn’t like, “Oh no! Those evil people! He’s putting that there?!! What will they think of next?” God planned sex all along. He shaped and designed our bodies. He designed male and female to fit together perfectly.

On the third day, after making land and plants, “God saw that it was good” (Genesis 1:12). On the fourth day, after making the sun, the moon, and the stars, “God saw that it was good” (1:18). On the fifth day, after making fish and birds, “God saw that it was good” (1:21). Half way through the sixth day, after making animals, “God saw that it was good” (1:25). Then, after making human beings with all of our sexuality as males and females, “God looked over all that he had made, and he saw that it was very good” (1:31). Our sexuality is very good.

“Then God blessed them and said, ‘Be fruitful and multiply” (1:28). I love that line. God blessed them and said, “Go have sex!” I’m telling you guys - you’ve got to start reading the Bible with your wives. “Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame” (2:25). They were having sex and were comfortable with their bodies, and it was very good. Sex is good. The Bible says so.

OK, here’s a point that we often miss: Our sexuality is rooted in God’s internal differences. “So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them” (Genesis 1:27). It seems like there was just too much of God to make just men or just women. We need both. We need people with complimentary differences to represent God to the world.

God is not a man. God is not male. In English, we use the word “He” for God, but that’s really just because we don’t have a better word. God is above male and female, but we aren’t. Somehow, we require both males and females to represent God.

Maybe that is because God is Trinity. Have you ever noticed that some of the language of the Trinity sounds very sexual? The Father, the Son, and the Spirit are “in constant movement in a circle that implies intimacy, equality, unity yet distinction, and love.”¹ The Father, Son, and Spirit are united in joy, love, harmony, laughter, mutual support, and mutual delight. The Father gives himself fully to the Son. The Son gives himself fully to the Spirit. The Spirit gives himself fully to the Father and the Son. The Father is in the Son. The Son is in the Father. The Son is in the Spirit. The Spirit fills the Son. They are united in intimacy and love.

Our diverse humanity represents God. Our diverse and loving church represents the diverse and loving community of the Trinity. And in an amazing and mysterious way, the love of a husband and wife as they live and love and make love – somehow all of this represents the deep intimacy of the Trinity. I know it sounds a little crazy, but sex is an image of the Trinity. What happens in sex gives us a picture of who God is: intimate, unselfish, loving, passionate, giving, joyful, celebrative, encouraging, diverse, and one.

But there is more. Sex still has more to teach us. Sex still has more to represent for us and through us.

There is one book in the Bible that is all about sex and romance. It is called the Song of Songs or Song of Solomon. It’s explicit. I mean seriously; it’s like Biblical porn. It’s this guy and this girl talking about how much they are in love with each other and how much they want each other – physically, sexually. They talk about every aspect of sex. They talk about doing it in the bedroom, on the grass, under the cedar trees, amid the wildflowers, in a borrowed cabin, on her mother’s bed – I am not kidding! They talk about manual stimulation and oral sex. He talks about her eyes, her hair, her teeth, her lips, her cheeks, her neck, her breasts, her belly button, her thighs, her … uh huh, that too! He calls it “a paradise of pomegranates with rare spices” (Song of Songs 4:13).

Is anyone feeling a little uncomfortable right now? You aren’t alone. My seminary professors said the Song of Songs almost didn’t make it into the Bible. It was just too sexual. But finally the ancient Jews decided to keep it in the Bible because they said sex represents God’s relationship with humanity. Did you get that? The most sexually explicit book in the Bible represents God’s love relationship with humanity!

We get the first hint of God’s romance with humanity right there in the garden. In Genesis chapter 3, after Adam and Eve eat the forbidden fruit, God takes a little walk through the garden. In the text, it’s like this is the most natural thing, like God and Adam and Eve usually took these quiet walks together through the garden of Eden at sunset.

We sang an old hymn about this in my church when I was a kid. It sounds pretty romantic when I think about it now.

(1) I come to the garden alone, while the dew is still on the roses.

And the voice I hear, falling on my ear, the Son of God discloses.

And He walks with me, and He talks with me, and He tells me I am his own.

And the joy we share as we tarry there, none other has ever known.

(2) He speaks, and the sound of his voice is so sweet the birds hush their singing,

And the melody that He gave to me within my heart is ringing.

(3) I’d stay in the garden with Him though the night around me is falling,

But he bids me go, through the voice of woe, his voice to me is calling.²

Update the words and the music, and Brittany Spears could make a music video of that!

Romance has always been a key part of humanity’s relationship with God.

In his book, Sex God, Rob Bell explains that when God rescued the Israelites from Egypt, he made the same promises that a Jewish groom makes to a Jewish bride: “I will take you out. I will rescue you. I will redeem you. I will take you to me.” Ancient Jews hearing this story would have known that someone was about to get married.³

After they get out of Egypt, it’s time for the wedding vows. When I got married, my grandpa, the pastor, asked me: “Will you … keep yourself only unto her, forsaking all others, so long as you both shall live?” The Ten Commandments were the wedding vows. Remember, the first commandment: “You must not have any other god but me” (Exodus 20:3). And God said, “You know how I carried you on eagles’ wings and brought you to myself. … You will be my own special treasure [out of] all the peoples on earth” (19:4-5). They were getting married, saying “I do,” covenanting to be in a life-long love relationship.

And the prophets kept talking in terms of marriage. Isaiah says, “Fear not … For your Creator will be your husband” (Isaiah 54:4-5). Through Jeremiah, God says “I loved them as a husband loves his wife” (Jeremiah 31:21). In Ezekiel, God tells a story of when he married and had children with two sisters, and then he explains that the sisters were Samaria and Jerusalem, the two Jewish capitol cities.

Hosea is the classic story of God’s tragic love for Israel. God tells Hosea to marry a prostitute to represent God’s faithful love and Israel’s unfaithfulness. Hosea does, and his prostitute wife leaves him, and God says, “That’s just like Israel.” But then God says to Hosea, “Go and love your wife again, even though she commits adultery with another lover. This will illustrate that the LORD still loves Israel, even though the people have turned to other gods and love to worship them” (Hosea 3:1).

In Ephesians, Paul goes on and on talking about how wives and husbands ought to love each other and how the two are actually “one flesh.” Then, he says, “This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church” (Ephesians 5:32).

In the Jewish culture of Jesus’ time, there were very clear steps for getting married. First, a woman has to “come of age.” Then, her father agrees with a young man’s father on the terms of the marriage. Next, there is an engagement party, and the groom offers the bride a cup of wine to drink. Then, he gives a speech about their future together. Next, the groom goes home to his father’s house and begins adding on an extra room to the house, so that he and is wife can have a place to live. When the groom’s father says that everything is ready, the groom goes to get the bride from her father’s house. Finally, there’s a big parade back to the groom’s father’s house and the wedding celebration begins.⁴

On the night before Jesus went to the cross, he shared meal with his disciples. He gave them bread to eat, and he offered them a cup of wine to drink. Then, he said: “Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me. There is more than enough room in my Father’s home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? When everything is ready, I will come and get you, shoat you will always be with me where I am” (John 14:1-3).

The Bible ends with the wedding celebration: “And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven like a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. I heard a loud shout from the throne, saying, ‘Look, God’s home is now among his people! He will live with them, and they will be his people’” (Revelation 21:2-3). In the end, God and his people finally come together in total intimacy with nothing holding them back and nothing between them. It’s just God and people and love.

Marriage and sex are symbols of this. Loving commitment and sexual intimacy are signs of God’s deep unstoppable, faithful love for his people. Sex is a symbol of the amazing intimacy and love that God wants with us – total intimacy, total love, total giving, total joy, total commitment.

Most of the time when we Christians talk about sex, we talk about the details and the rules. We talk a little about the do’s and the don’t’s. But really the do’s – like the stuff in Song of Songs – are too explicit and too uncomfortable, so we end up just talking about the don’t’s. Don’t, don’t, don’t. We miss the big picture of how God intended sex as this beautiful symbol of his own character and his loving relationship with humanity. When we miss that big picture, we miss the deep meaning of sex. We miss its significance. We miss its purpose.

Without the big picture, we settle for a smaller, incomplete, individualized view of sex. Sex becomes something for my physical and emotional pleasure only. Don’t get me wrong. The pleasure is an important part of sex. It is important for us as we experience it. It is important for our marriages, and it is important for the symbolism. There is great pleasure and joy in the Trinity and great joy in our relationship with God. But if it’s only about the pleasure, we’re living with a mere fragment of the total picture. If it’s only about the pleasure, we limit sex to such a small part of its potential.

Sex is about the pleasure and the deep bonding and the life-long loving faithfulness and the symbolism. This kind of full meaning calls out our total commitment and demands our deepest passions. Something this meaningful and deep can only come to its fullness in a life-long loving relationship like marriage.

To have sex outside of a life-long loving relationship distorts the symbolism of sex. Sex illustrates God’s deep self-giving within the Trinity and God’s eternal faithfulness to humanity. To have sex without life-long commitment misrepresents God’s undying faithfulness to us. Also, to have sex without that forever commitment misrepresents the relationship to us. When we have sex, our hearts and our bodies are naturally thinking of deep undying commitment. We are presenting that relationship to our hearts and to the other person as a forever relationship. When the relationship is temporary, our hearts are wounded in the process.

On the other hand, to have good sex in a good marriage is healing for our hearts and for our world. There is something about that oneness that is healing for all of us. Somehow, good sex in a good marriage opens us up for a little more of God’s loving presence in our lives.

Let’s finish with a little review. We are all sexual beings. God has made us male or female. This represents God’s internal character. Our sexuality is very good – even if we aren’t actually having sex. Sex is designed to represent the deep love of the Trinity and God’s deep love for humanity. To represent this well, we need good sex in good marriages – life-long love relationships.

God is deeply in love with us. God invites us all into the loving embrace of the Trinity. God is whole-heartedly committed to us.

Today, we will celebrate the Lord’s Supper or communion. Communion means intimate sharing. When we engage in this symbolic act of eating Christ’s body and drinking Christ’s blood, we are symbolizing taking his very life into us. This is deeply romantic. God loves us so much he died to be with us. God is giving his very body and life to us. We are taking God into us. We are being fed and nourished and strengthened by God. The Lord’s Supper is a sign or symbol or sacrament of God’s deep communion with us.

God loves you deeply. God has always loved you. God always will love you. Today, as you eat and drink, think of the God who gives himself fully to share your love. Maybe this will be your first time to celebrate Communion. Maybe this can be your first moment of decision to respond to God’s love. Coming forward to celebrate this sign can be a sign of your acceptance of God’s love and your desire to love God in return. God is inviting us into a love relationship that lasts forever. Will you say, “I do”?

1 George Cladis, Leading the Team-Based Church, (San Francisco, 1999), 4.

2 Austin Miles, “In the Garden,” 1912.

3 Rob Bell, Sex God, (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2007), 131-2.

4 Ibid, 168-9.