Today we are celebrating several holidays: Children’s Day, Parents’ Day, Teachers’ Day, and Family Day - and while you’re at it, you can throw in Mothers’ Day and Fathers’ Day. We had some debate about how we should deal with these secular holidays in our Christian worship service. However, as we began to think about our series on the Church, we remembered the Christian teaching that God is our Father and that we are God’s family together.
Listen to how Paul explains this in Ephesians 2.
19 So now you Gentiles are no longer strangers and foreigners. You are citizens along with all of God’s holy people. You are members of God’s family. 20 Together, we are his house, built on the foundation of the apostles and the prophets. And the cornerstone is Christ Jesus himself. 21 We are carefully joined together in him, becoming a holy temple for the Lord. 22 Through him you Gentiles are also being made part of this dwelling where God lives by his Spirit.
We are one family, one house. God has carefully joined us together in Christ, so that together we are a temple for God’s Spirit. When we are together and committed to Jesus, something amazing and mysterious happens. Somehow, our togetherness and our foundation in Jesus makes God’s Spirit real among us.
One of the beautiful things of God’s family is that we are all in God’s family - whether we are single, married, divorced, or widowed. No one is excluded. If you have put your faith in Christ, God has given you a new family. We are all related to each other - like it or not!
Paul explains this again in his letter to a young pastor named Timothy:
1 Never speak harshly to an older man, but appeal to him respectfully as you would to your own father. Talk to younger men as you would to your own brothers. 2 Treat older women as you would your mother, and treat younger women with all purity as you would your own sisters. 3 Take care of any widow who has no one else to care for her. ... 7 Give these instructions to the church so that no one will be open to criticism.
8 But those who won’t care for their relatives, especially those in their own household, have denied the true faith. Such people are worse than unbelievers. (1 Timothy 5:1-3, 7-8)
We are brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, mothers and fathers to each other. None of us is alone. Last week, we talked about hospitality. One of the fundamental functions of the Church is to include each other as family - especially those who don’t have any family living close to them. Christians make new families. Christians welcome the lonely. Christians gather the stragglers into small groups. Christians give students a place to call home. Christians are brothers to the brother-less, and sisters to the sister-less. Christian singles band together in new friendship/family groups. Christian families welcome singles into their family mix, involving them in holidays, family trips, and weekly dinners. The family of God is always inclusive. Live out the family of God this week by including someone new.
Part 2 (With Children)
Christians also celebrate children. Our children are with us for the first half of the service today. I want to invite our children and parents to come up to the front. If you have a child who is elementary age or less, come on up to the front.
Did you guys have a good Children’s Day?
Did you do something special with your family?
Did you get any presents?
You know, sometimes, big people think we’re so important that we don’t have time for little kids and kid stuff. Do you ever feel frustrated because your parents don’t have enough time to play with you? I know Emma feels like that sometimes.
One time, people thought Jesus was too busy to spend time with little kids. Let’s read the story in Matthew 19, and see what happened.
13 One day some parents brought their children to Jesus so he could lay his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples scolded the parents for bothering him.
14 But Jesus said, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children.” 15 And he placed his hands on their heads and blessed them before he left.
What do you think this story means?
I think it means two basic things.
First, you are really important to God. God loves you. God always has time for you. God will always listen to you and love you. Kids are really, really important. You are really special. Sometimes, parents and big people can get kind of stressed and busy, but we need to remember that you kids are super important to us and to God. God loves you, and we love you. And the most important thing we can do is to love you and to help you feel God’s love for you.
But second, you have something to teach us. A lady named Angela Schwindt said something really cool: “While we try to teach our children all about life, our children teach us what life is all about."
What do big people teach you?
What can you teach big people?
Jesus says we need to become like you children if we want to live God’s way. (See Matthew 18:3-4.) We need to trust God like you trust your mom and dad. We need to ask lots of questions like you do. We need to play with freedom and joy like you do. We need to love like you do. If we really want to be like Jesus, we need to hang out with you guys and learn how to be kids again. That means you’re pretty special, right?!
So we want to pray for you. All of our pastors are going to come up here. (Pastor Matt is in the USA for his ordination interviews - 안수심 - so he can’t be here today.) Also, let’s bring up everyone who has children here today - whether they are babies, teenagers, or university students. We want to pray for all of you. So just come with your family to one of the pastors. First, the parents pray for your kids. (Korean is OK.) Then, if the kids want to pray for the family, they can pray too. Last, the pastors will pray for each family. If you aren’t here with kids today, please spend this time praying for the kids and parents in our church - or for your family at home. (After we pray for your kids, please take them to the children’s room.)
--- Greeting time and Song ---
Part 3:
Proverbs 23:12-26
12 Commit yourself to instruction; listen carefully to words of knowledge.
13 Don’t fail to discipline your children. They won’t die if you spank them.
14 Physical discipline may well save them from death.
15 My child, if your heart is wise, my own heart will rejoice!
16 Everything in me will celebrate when you speak what is right.
17 Don’t envy sinners, but always continue to fear the Lord.
18 You will be rewarded for this; your hope will not be disappointed.
19 My child, listen and be wise: Keep your heart on the right course.
20 Do not carouse with drunkards or feast with gluttons,
21 for they are on their way to poverty, and too much sleep clothes them in rags.
22 Listen to your father, who gave you life, and don’t despise your mother when she is old.
23 Get the truth and never sell it; also get wisdom, discipline, and good judgment.
24 The father of godly children has cause for joy. What a pleasure to have children who are wise.
25 So give your father and mother joy! May she who gave you birth be happy.
26 O my son, give me your heart. May your eyes take delight in following my ways.
Alright so, there you have it, the message from God today is “Spank your kids.” Well, not exactly. Spanking can be helpful for little kids, like when they keep trying to touch the stove or run out into the street. But as kids grow up, the parenting method needs to grow up too.
This passage is really about the heart of parenting. Listen to what the wise teacher says about the heart.
My child, if your heart is wise, my own heart will rejoice!
My child, listen and be wise: Keep your heart on the right course.
O my son, give me your heart.
If you want to be a good parent, if you want the kids in our church to grow into healthy loving adults, then we need to get to their hearts. “Don’t fail to discipline your children.” Absolutely, that’s true. But that word translated “discipline” here might be better translated “correct” or “instruct.” Do not fail to instruct your children. That’s what this passage is really about. Do not fail to teach your children how to live.
As adults our greatest obligation is to help our children develop wise hearts. As parents, our greatest joy is children with wise hearts. More than anything else, our children need wisdom. What is wisdom? Several times, the Bible says, “Fear of the Lord is the foundation of true wisdom. All who obey his commandments will grow in wisdom” (Psalm 111:10). Wisdom is a deep respect for God that helps us to live well. Wisdom is God’s life living deeply in our hearts. Wisdom is living God’s way of life from the depths of our hearts.
The simple truth is ... this takes time. Commit yourself to instruction. Commit yourself to being there for our kids. Give our children your hearts through time and touch and talking. And, I’m not just talking about parents here. We need everybody to help us guide our kids. I remember that if the cool young guy at church told me something, I was much more likely to listen than if my mom told me the same thing. Give our kids your hearts by giving them your time. Then, you’ll get their hearts, and you’ll be able to guide them in God’s ways.
Church, do not fail to help our children get wisdom. They will be rewarded for this. Their hope in God will not be disappointed. Wise children will give you great joy. Wise children will make your heart glad. Do not fail to help our children get wisdom. Guide them well.
But the hardest truth in this passage is hidden in the last verse. “May your eyes take delight in following my ways.” Your children will follow you - not what you say. They will do what you do - not what you tell them to do. This is the most difficult part of being a parent. We have to get wisdom before we can give wisdom. We have to live well before we can help our kids live well.
What do you want for your kids? What kind of life do you want them to live? Then, start living that way now. If you don’t live it, they probably won’t either. Your kids will follow your ways. When they have grown up to be just like you, will they be happy about that? Will they be delighted that they have grown up to be like Mom and Dad? Will you be delighted if your kids live mostly like you?
Do you want your kids to work as much as you do? Do you want your kids to talk to your spouse the way you do? Do you want your kids to drink like you do? ... to eat like you? ... to have a marriage like yours? ... to pray like you? ... to relax and to play like you? ... to use money like you? ... to feel about themselves like you feel about yourself? ... to be as close to God as you are?
Whether we like it our not, our children will follow us. If you want our kids to be wise, then you have to be wise. If you want our kids to get wisdom, then you have to get wisdom. If you want our kids to live a good life, the first step is to live a good life now as their example. They will follow you.
Be a good parent. Be a good teacher. First, take care of yourself. Make sure you are following God, loving God, loving people, and loving life. Then, give our kids your hearts. Pour yourself into their lives. They will give right back. Their joy will fill you with joy. Their love will fill you with love. Their hope will renew your hope. And your wisdom will shape them into wise and loving people.
And that is a huge part of what Church is all about. God loves us. We’ve all turned and walked away. Our kids - no matter what we do - will turn and walk away at some point. The Church is here to keep calling out God’s unconditional love. The Church is here to keep announcing the gospel of Jesus Christ. The Church is here to help us find our way home again, where we can all be made new together, as the family of God. Be the Church. Be family.
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