January 16, 2011
During “Common Time” over the next two months, we are studying Jesus’ most famous teaching, “The Sermon on the Mount” in Matthew 5, 6, and 7. If you want to know what it means to follow Jesus in your common, ordinary, everyday life, this is the place to start. Jesus is answering some basic questions. What does it mean for the Kingdom of God to become real in our world? What does it mean to be a real follower of Jesus? What does it mean to be a real human?
Before we start reading today’s text, I want to talk about someone else who explored what it means to become real. In my opinion he was one of the greatest psychologists of the 20th century. Abraham Maslow studied what he considered to be the top 1% of humanity. He wanted to discover what helps people reach the highest limits of their potential.
Maslow’s great contribution to human understanding was his Hierarchy of Needs. The basic concept is that we need to have our most basic needs met before we can move upward to the next level of needs.
We all start at the bottom with physical needs: food, water, air, sleep, shelter, etc. We have to have this stuff to live. That last one on the list is kind of funny: excretion. That means pooping and peeing. That may not seem like such a big deal, until you think of a time when you really, really, really had to pee but couldn’t find a bathroom. You weren’t thinking high and lofty thoughts about how to become a better person or make our world a better place. All you could think was, “I’ve got to PEEEEE!”
The next level is safety. We all want security. We need physical health, a safe home, safety for our possessions, income security, etc. A year or two ago, one of our church members experienced a robbery, while she was at home, in her bed. Safety became one of her dominant concerns.
When our basic needs are met, and we feel basically safe in the world, we start to focus our attention on love and belonging. We want friendship and family. We want to fall in love and get married. We want to have sex, and not just any sex - good sex, intimate sex that connects us heart and soul with another person. (And by the way, I don’t think sex actually belongs on that bottom level of most basic human needs. Nobody ever dies from lack of sex. We are designed to have sex. It is good to have sex in the right kind of relationship, but we CAN live without it.)
When we feel love and belong to a close community, we move on to the next set of aspirations, those focused on esteem or respect. Notice here that love and belonging precede self-esteem and achievement. We need to love and be loved before we can really feel good about ourselves or anything we accomplish. This level of needs is all about significance.
Finally, we get to self-actualization. According to Maslow, the highest aim of humanity is to become our true selves. We have an accurate and honest understanding of ourselves and our world. We have come to peace with ourselves and what we have to offer our world, and yet we work to solve key problems in our world. Self-actualized people are people of integrity, joy, passion, honesty, and creative action. They are fulfilling their potential. They have become - or are becoming - their REAL (or actual) SELF, the person God made them to be. This is the ultimate blessing.
When we look at this, pyramid of needs, we intuitively connect with this. The basic premise here is intuitively and obviously true. We look at this and say, “Yeah, that’s about right.” We might want to adjust this or that, but over all we say, “Yes, this is obviously true.”
So with this hierarchy of needs in mind, let’s read the introduction to Jesus’ most important sermon. Read Matthew 5:1-16.
Is anyone else confused? We just said that Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is intuitively true. We look at it and say, “Yep, that’s it. This is what humans need to have a good and satisfying life.” But then we read Jesus’ “Beatitudes” or “Blessings,” Jesus’ description of the blessed or wonderful life. They don’t seem to match up. In fact, they often seem to be opposite to Maslow’s hierarchy.
Jesus’ beatitudes are counterintuitive.
We don’t usually associate being poor in spirit with self-esteem or self-confidence or respect by others. “Oh, I really respect that guy. He’s just so poor and needy.”
Usually, if we’re mourning that means we’ve lost someone or something we really care about. It’s a loss of family, friends, or security.
Humility might run counter to success or confidence or safety. In the worlds of entertainment, sports, politics, and business, it seems to be the self-promoters who get ahead.
If we’re hungry for justice, that usually means we are experiencing injustice. We have a loss of physical, emotional, or political security.
Showing mercy means putting ourselves at risk.
Purity of heart is not something we usually connect with succeeding in a competitive social environment. We also usually think of pleasure (or most pleasures) as somehow impure.
While we give big prizes for those who work for peace, we also prefer to have strong armies, big bombs, and fast planes. If one of us has to lose, we are pretty sure we want that to be “you” and not “me.”
And we are definitely sure that persecution and mocking and slander are not on our “bucket list.” These are not things we need to experience to have a satisfying life.
Jesus’ description of the blessed life sounds ... well ... not so blessed. It sounds like a lot of struggle and pain. It sounds more like life at the bottom rather than life at the top. It sounds opposite to what we would naturally expect the good life to be. It definitely doesn’t seem to be the smart path to self-actualization.
Ayn Rand was a Russian-American author and philosopher. She lived through the communist revolution in Russia - as a dissenter - and immigrated to the USA - the land of extreme individualism. She promoted the philosophy of ethical egoism. This means that each person should do what is in his or her own best interest. Basically, everyone should be completely selfish, and this will lead us to the best possible society and the most personal satisfaction. We should quit trying to help people. That is getting into their business and denying their human dignity. We know ourselves and what we need best. So if everyone just focuses on what is good for ourselves, then we have the best chance of getting what is good for ourselves.
Whether we know it or not, most of society has adopted this philosophy of ethical egoism. We might give to others on occasion, but it is mostly to make ourselves feel good - an act of emotional selfishness.
There are many problems with this philosophy, but its basic problem is that it is self-defeating. Selfishness doesn’t lead to self-actualization. Selfishness leads to self-destruction. Jesus’ counterintuitive truth is: “If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it” (Matthew 10:39).
Sometimes we’re like the guy in this cartoon: “You know the world just isn’t meeting my needs right now.” This guy is in for a major let down. Life is not all about us. We can get so wrapped up in meeting our own needs that we actually destroy our lives. If we center our lives on ourselves, eventually the tower will come tumbling down. Our selves cannot bear the weight of our selves. Our lives will implode. We are not designed to be self-satisfying beings. We need others. We need God. We need to participate in God’s healing mission in our world.
When life is all about me, there is no room left for you. I need you and you and you and you to be the real me. We have seen it again and again - in movie stars, in our families, in our friends. Selfishness leads to self-destruction.
So Jesus comes back at us with a new way to live. Jesus explains some basic attitudes that combat selfishness or self-inflation. Listen to the old Beatitudes in some new words. (Much of this wording is based on The Message.)
Blessed are the poor in spirit. You are blessed when you realize that you aren’t all that, when you know that you aren’t the be-all-and-end-all. You are blessed when you know your weaknesses and frailty. You are blessed when you know your deep and unending need for God.
Blessed are those who mourn. When you’ve lost what is most dear to you, then you are open to be embraced more deeply by God. You’re blessed when you care enough to cry.
Blessed are the meek and humble. You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are - no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought.
Blessed are the merciful. People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care. When you care for others, they’ll care for you.
Selfishness leads to self-destruction. Jesus offers us another way - a better way.
But Jesus’ way is not selflessness. Following Jesus doesn’t mean getting rid of our selves, sacrificing our selves, becoming SELF-less beings. Christians get really confused here. Well-meaning Christians and preachers say the path to the blessed life is selflessness.
God doesn’t want us to be empty shells. God made your SELF. Your SELF is valuable. God does not want you to become a different self - a different being. God wants to become the real you.
Jesus said, “Love your neighbor as your self.” The great hidden truth here is that we can’t really love our neighbors unless we love ourselves. If we don’t love and value ourselves, then we have no SELF left to love with. We’re just shells, and we can’t love from emptiness.
I’ve been reading a book by Brennan Manning for my devotions. He quotes Adrian von Kahn, “Gentleness toward my precious and fragile self, as called forth uniquely by God, constitutes the core of my gentleness with others.” Then Manning explains, “The gospel of Jesus Christ calls us to recognize our intrinsic worth and dignity, to love ourselves humbly and wholesomely, and to forgive ourselves as we have been forgiven. Anything less is a refusal to accept God’s love for us.”1
Selflessness leads to self-destruction. But again, Jesus offers us another way - a better way. Jesus paints a picture of people with a strong sense of self engaging the world to make it better.
Blessed are the pure in heart. You are blessed when your inside world is set right. You are blessed when you know your heart, when you follow your heart. You are blessed when you live in harmony with your true self.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for justice. You are blessed when you have a burning passion to make the world a better place. You are blessed when you hunger for goodness and beauty so much that it hurts. That hunger will be satisfied.
Blessed are the peacemakers. You are blessed when you confront wrong and stand between warring parties to make peace. In the crisis, in the flames, in the explosion of conflict, you and everyone else will realize you are my child.
Blessed are those who are persecuted for doing right. Blessed are those who are strong enough to go against the flow. Blessed are those who can say NO when all others are saying YES and say YES when all others are saying NO. You are blessed when you live so well that you make others uncomfortable with their comfortable lives. Blessed are those who have a strong enough sense of self to continue being faithful to Jesus no matter what.
So maybe you’re a little confused here. I have to admit: I was. If Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is intuitively true, and Jesus’ Beatitudes are also true, then how does all of this work? If both selfishness and selflessness lead to self-destruction, then what is the path forward? What is the solution? What are we supposed to do with this?
The path to self-actualization is Christ-actualization. If we want to become our real selves, then Christ needs to become real in us. We need long hair, beards, and sandals. No, seriously, if we want to become the best us we can be, if we want to reach our full potential as human beings, then we need to let Christ’s life take shape in our lives. Let God’s Spirit fill you. Let God’s life take shape inside you. Paul says, when you let God’s Spirit shape your life, you get some amazing results: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). That sounds like an amazing life to me.
Here’s the deal. Living the Christ-life can’t be all about us. Christ-actualization is about giving ourselves away in service to others - in our place of passion. This is the path of blessing. This is the way to be our true selves.
Frederick Buechner says, “The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.” This is really close to what Jesus is talking about in our text. Don’t be selfish, but don’t be SELF-less. What is it that makes you deeply glad? What are you passionate about? Go deep into your heart and find out what you really care about. Is it music? Is it leadership? Is it community? Is it art? Is it teaching, science, building stuff, travel, sports? Whatever you are passionate about, name that passion. Identify it. Your passions are key to who you are.
Then, find out how that passion meets up with the world’s deep hunger. Maybe you will teach kids music and help them to excel. Maybe you will build stuff in newer, greener, more sustainable ways. Maybe you will invite people to travel on short-term mission trips that will change their lives and the lives of people around the world.
Be the person God has made you to be. Be YOU - well and humbly and faithfully and boldly. People won’t always accept you. But be faithful to God’s calling to let the real Christ become real in the real you.
Here is the heart of the gospel. God made us - the real us. But our world beat us down and twisted us up. We have strayed to the right and to the left. We’ve gotten all mixed up in selfishness and SELFlessness. Some of us are always inflating ourselves with pride and greed. Others of us are constantly deflating ourselves with self-criticism and poor self-care. In short, we are on the path for self-destruction.
But Jesus died for the us - the real us, not some idealized set of humans, but the real us, the real you and me, with all of our strengths and weaknesses. Now God invites us to become more fully who we really are. Because Jesus died and was raised again, we can follow his path of death to the old life and resurrection in the new life. Because God forgives us, we can forgive us and others. Because Jesus became human, we can become fully human. Because God’s Spirit lives in us, we can really live.
The process is the same for churches. It’s not selfishness. It’s not about seeing how many people and how much money we can get here in this place. It’s not about the quality of our music or preaching or chairs or snacks or buildings. It’s not primarily about us.
But it’s not SELFlessness either. It’s not that we don’t matter. We are not insignificant side notes. What we do here is important. Who we are matters. Our life as together is deeply important.
That’s why I love our mission. We are a loving community that changes our world. We have a SELF-identity, and yet we are giving ourselves away for the world. We are loving each other and sharing our love with the world. This is the path of blessing. This is the Christ-life becoming real in us.
Margery Williams tells the beautiful story of The Velveteen Rabbit. Most of the story happens in a child’s playroom. A young stuffed-rabbit is talking to a shabby, old, well-loved toy-horse.
"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery bed, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"
"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."
"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"
"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."
Do you want to become real? Do you want to become the real you? Do you want to self-actualize? Let Christ live in you. Let the Christ-life become real in your life. Let God pour his Spirit into your heart and make you into the real you. It will hurt sometimes, and it doesn’t happen all at once. But these things don’t matter compared to the surpassing beauty of God becoming real in us.
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