KNU International English Church
Josh Broward
December 20, 2009
Micah 5:2-5a
Have you ever felt like that? Have you ever been in one of those conversations? “It sucks to be me.” “Oh, no, it really sucks to be me.” “Well, if you think that’s bad, let me tell you how much my life sucks.” This is normal life for us. My job sucks. My apartment stinks. My husband never helps around the house. My mom drives me crazy. My bosses keep changing everything. I have a cold. My back hurts.
What is this a contest or something? Do we really want to win this game? “Yeah, it really sucks to be you! Whew, you’re life is terrible!”
“See! I told you!”
But sometimes, we really do feel pretty terrible. This week, I sat at my computer pouting, with my bottom lip sticking out like a little kid who just dropped his ice cream. Sometimes, we just feel like joining the song, “It sucks to be me!”
Israel would understand. Israel was a small fish in a big sea with sharks all around. The biggest shark of all was Assyria. Assyria was pressing down upon Israel like a lion on a mouse. It seemed to be only a matter of time before Assyria would annex Israel like it had already done to all the other nations. They would lay siege Jerusalem, and if they won, they would make the king of Israel stand in the town square. The commander of the Assyrian army would take a rod and smack Israel’s king in the face with it, maybe knock a few teeth out. When Israel looked into the future, they saw defeat and public humiliation. So, yeah, they were singing, “It sucks to be me.”
But God answers Israel in a surprising way. God says, “Your life sucks so bad because of your own bad choices.” God tells Israel, “Look, you lie, cheat, and steal. You bend the law to your own cause. You evict widows and neglect children. Your rulers are corrupt. Your priests just want money. Your prophets only tell you what you want to hear. You believe that God will protect you simply because you claim to be God’s people. You are just using religion to cover your greed. You have brought trouble upon yourselves because you reject my ways.”
Maybe God would say something similar to us. Sometimes when our lives suck, it’s because of our own bad choices, too. Maybe we are working harder than we really have to work. Maybe we are tired and grumpy all the time because we don’t sleep enough. Maybe we’re lonely because we haven’t learned how to be a friend. Maybe we are bored with our stuff because we simply have too much stuff. Maybe we are bored with our lives because we choose to do nothing meaningful with our lives. Maybe we have that hollow feeling inside because we know that there is something wrong with the world when we can have ice cream any time we want it but children die because they can’t get rice. Maybe we have brought trouble upon ourselves because we reject God’s ways.
And in our passage today, God speaks through Micah to give Israel a standard promise in a surprising way. The standard promise is the promise for the Messiah. Whenever Israel struggled, whenever Israel’s leadership failed, whenever Israel cried out for healing, God promised them a leader like David, the great king. God promised the Messiah would make everything right. The Messiah would restore justice and protect Israel from her enemies.
But there are some surprises in this passage. The Messiah will come from Bethlehem. That’s David’s hometown. It’s a country farming community. David’s father was a shepherd. David was a shepherd, one of the lowest jobs in Israel. It was long, dirty, difficult, thankless work.
The people of Israel expected a mighty king, robed in velvet and silk and gold. They wanted a king who would lead from a huge throne and make everything right right away. They wanted a Burger-King-king, “Your way right away.”
God promised a Shepherd who would enter the world from the margins. He would be a leader who was born and raised and lived in the unimportant places. He would lead gently like a shepherd not fiercely like an army general. He would live peace and teach peace, and peace would flow through him to others and on to others and on and on.
But he would not make everything right right away. Look at verse 3, “The people of Israel will be abandoned to their enemies until the woman in labor gives birth. Then at last his fellow countrymen will return from exile to their own land.” Even after God gives the promise, there will be trouble. Even after God sends the Messiah, there will be exiles and hardships.
When we read this passage now, we naturally think of Jesus. This is one of the most famous prophecies about Jesus. In Matthew chapter 2, the leading priests and teachers quoted this prophecy to say that the Messiah would be born in Bethlehem.
But Jesus was born on the margins – really on the margins of the margins. Not only was he born in Bethlehem, a small farming town, but his parents couldn’t even get a place indoors. Jesus was born in an animal shelter between cattle and goats and hay and oats.
Fresh out of the womb, Jesus faced danger. Herod, the ruler of Israel, didn’t want any Messiahs taking his power, so he sent soldiers to kill all the children in Bethlehem. Jesus was chased out of his marginal position and off the map of Israel – the fugitive Messiah.
The Messiah came, but he still had to run for his life. The Messiah came, but a dictator still killed a whole village of innocent babies. The Messiah came, but mothers were still crying in the streets. The Messiah came, but he was on the margins and in the middle of the mess of life.
When Jesus grew up and began leading, he still led from the margins. He didn’t lead an overwhelming take-over campaign. He started in the Galilean countryside with fishermen and rebels and corrupt accountants. He never took a religious office or held a position of power. He didn’t change the religious system or the political system or the medical system or the economic system. If he were a CEO or president of a nation today, we would say he was a total failure.
So what did Jesus do? How is Jesus the Messiah predicted in Micah 5? How is Jesus a shepherd-ruler who gives his people peace?
Well, it’s kind of like this. If you walk down the street outside KNU, past the fire station, past the post office, right about the time you get to the hair shop or KimBap Nara, you start to smell this amazing aroma. It’s like cinnamon and sugar and butter, and it’s just floating in the air, calling to you. It’s the smell of RotiBuns baking in the RotiBoy Coffee Shop. I’ll just be walking on my way to the bank, minding my own business, doing my own thing, and that lush aroma of fresh-baked sweet breads floats out onto the sidewalks and starts talking to me, “Hey you. Yes, you. Don’t you want some of this sweet buttery goodness. You’re hungry even if you don’t realize it yet. Come on inside and have a RotiBun.” It’s like the smell awakens my hunger.
This is how Jesus works. Irish theologian Peter Rollins explains it like this:
Instead of religious discourse being a type of drink designed to satisfy our thirst for answers, Jesus made his teaching salty, evoking thirst. Instead of offering a scientific explanation that would convince, or publicizing the miracles so as to compel his listeners, Jesus engaged in a poetic discourse that spoke to the hearts of those who would listen. In a world where people believe they are not hungry, we must not offer food but rather an aroma that helps them desire the food that we cannot provide. We are a people born from a response to hints of the divine. Note only this, but we must embrace the idea that we are also called to be hints of the divine.
Jesus traveled around Israel creating the smell of peace. He healed some, taught some, and loved as much as one limited body can love. He gave bits and pieces of peace, samples of peace, like the taste test ladies in E-Mart. All around Jesus, there was this aroma of peace, a hint of something more, the smell of a deeper kind of life.
People were going their own way, doing their own thing, making money, raising kids, working the farm, selling their products, and then they ran into Jesus, and this smell of peace was overwhelming. It wasn’t the full substance of peace. It was peace from this marginal place, in this marginal place. It wasn’t a peace that made everything OK or made the Roman oppressors go away. It was peace in and among the messiness of life.
Jesus was a living embodiment of peace, and he called people to follow their spiritual noses, to follow his way of peace. Jesus gave off the smell of peace everywhere he went, giving out a few samples here and there. He invited people to recognize their hunger for peace, for wholeness, for justice, for love – and having recognized that hunger, to follow him.
This is how Jesus is the source of our peace. This is how Jesus is the Messiah. He lives peace. He exudes peace. He smells of peace. He gives samples of peace. And he invites us to follow him into the way of peace. One by one, family by family, group by group, we begin to follow the smell of our Peace-filled Messiah, and slowly we too become samples of peace. Slowly, we too begin to live peace. We too begin to smell of peace and give little tastes of peace to others.
How do we do this? How do we follow Jesus in this way of peace? In the next chapter of Micah, the people ask what God really wants from them. They say, “Should we offer him thousands of rams or ten thousand rivers of olive oil? Should we sacrifice our children to pay for our sins?” (Micah 6:7). But Micah gives a simple answer that summarizes Jesus’ way of life, Jesus’ way of peace, “No, O people, the Lord has told you what is good, and this is what he requires of you: to do justice, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God” (Micah 6:8).
You don’t need to give millions of dollars. You don’t need to abandon your kids to serve the church. What God wants is simple. Jesus’ way of peace is simple.
Do justice. Someone once said: “Sometimes I would like to ask God why He allows poverty, suffering, and injustice when He could do something about it.” The question came back: “Well, why don’t you ask Him?” The answer: “Because I’m afraid He would ask me the same question.” Bob Pierce founded World Vision (one of the largest relief agencies in the world), and he said something very simple yet very profound: “Don’t fail to do something just because you can’t do everything.” Do justice. Do something!
Love mercy. As James said, “Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry” (James 1:19). We can be so quick to complain and criticize others. Let’s work together to love mercy instead. Show a little mercy to your church. You may not get everything you want here. The songs or the preaching or the whatever may not be just to your tastes, but show a little mercy. Show a little mercy at work. The people in charge may not do everything the way you want, but you probably don’t want to be in charge either. Love mercy.
Walk humbly. One of the first steps of humility is slowing down. Sometimes we have to have the humility to say, “No, I just can’t do that. I don’t have time. I’m not a superman or superwoman. It’s OK if you think less of me, but I can’t do it.” When we walk through life more slowly, we are far more likely to be walking with God.
If we do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with our God, the world will not be radically different tomorrow, or the next day, or the next, maybe not even next year. There will still be problems and crises. There will still be people on the margins and in messes. Sometimes, we will be the messy, marginal people.
But that’s OK because Jesus, our Messiah is in the mess and in the margins. He is there baking his bread of peace, sending out the aroma of peace all over the world from the margins. And if we will follow his smell, and begin to walk in his ways of peace, more and more of our world will smell of peace. More and more of our world will become whole and healthy and well.
“And he will stand to lead his flock with the LORD’s strength, in the majesty of the name of the LORD his God. Then his people will live there undisturbed, for he will be highly honored around the world. And he will be the source of peace” (Micah 5:4-5a).
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Malachi's Christmas (Malachi 2:17 - 3:5)
Josh Broward
Malachi’s Christmas
Malachi
Christmas is my favorite holiday. I loved the relaxed time, spending all day together with my family for several days in a row. For many of us Christmas means family time.
But food always goes together with family. In my house there was always more food than we could possibly eat: turkey, honey-baked ham, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, green bean casserole, cranberry sauce (sometimes still shaped like the can), and best of all pumpkin pie with whipped cream and pecan pie with old-fashioned vanilla ice cream. (I know I’m making myself hungry, too!) Nothing says Christmas like the sin of gluttony!
And of course there are presents. My mom has two great spiritual gifts: giving and shopping. Christmas at our house overflowed with all of my mom’s bargain gifts. Christmas gift-giving is such an important image in American culture that economists gauge the health of the entire economy based on Christmas shopping.
And the presents have to go under a Christmas tree. Through some accident of history, green triangle shaped trees have become one of the world’s most recognizable symbols of the holiday celebrating the birth of Jesus.
In
Some people think mostly about the songs and the movies. Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer, Frosty the Snowman, Jingle Bells, The Twelve Days of Christmas. Miracle on 34th Street, It’s a Wonderful Life, The Charlie Brown Christmas.
For Christians, the primary images of Christmas are often a little different (at least when we’re thinking about church stuff). We usually think about Christmas carols and special Christmas Choir Cantatas. We think about the classic Christmas songs: “Away in a Manger,” “Silent Night,” “Joy to the World,” and others. These songs are always full of joy and appreciation for God’s greatest gift to the world – Jesus.
And of course, the single greatest image of Christmas for Christians is the baby in the manger – or feeding trough. Most Sunday School kids can draw that baby in the wooden box with the X-shaped legs and hay. We might even add a nice yellow glow of light coming from the quiet little baby in the hay.
Our images of God’s coming into the world are overwhelmingly positive. We think of joy and peace, family and friends, comfort and abundance. Even when we think theologically, our thoughts are deeply positive: light and salvation and grace and peace for the world and good news for all humankind.
Many of the Bible’s texts do lead us in this direction. But not today’s text. Today’s text is from the prophet Malachi – the last prophet recorded in the Old Testament. Listen as Malachi explains God’s coming into the world. This is Malachi’s Christmas.
Lectio Devina with Malachi
But reality was different. They still suffered from drought. They still suffered from enemies who seemed to be stronger than them. Their priests were still corrupt. Their worship was still hollow. Their poor were still poor. Their weak were still oppressed. The foreigners were still strangers without rights and legal support. Injustice ruled religiously and socially.
Malachi says, “Be careful what you ask for. God is coming. The Messiah is coming. Christmas is coming. But Christmas won’t be all blessings and presents and turkeys. Salvation begins with judgment. Correcting injustice in the world begins with correcting injustice in us.”
Malachi’s Christmas is different.
Malachi’s Christmas is like pouring hydrogen peroxide on a wound. It hurts, but it helps.
Riding a skateboard is fun. Going fast is fun. So riding a skateboard behind a bicycle going really fast will be really fun, right? Absolutely … until the wipeout. These kids didn’t have their camera ready for the wipeout, but they did video the First Aid.
--- PEROXIDE VIDEO --- [[Warning - This video has profanity. When we show it in the worship service, this will be edited out.]]
Malachi’s Christmas is like pouring peroxide on a wound. It hurts, but it helps. It gets the bad stuff out. It heals us, but the healing hurts like crazy.
Malachi’s Christmas is like lice shampoo. Have you ever gotten head lice? I have. That shampoo sucks! But it gets the yucky, itchy bugs out of your hair. It hurts, but it helps.
--- SHAMPOO VIDEO ---
Malachi’s Christmas is like lice shampoo. It burns. It stings. It gets in your eyes, but it gets the bad stuff out. It hurts, but it helps.
Malachi’s Christmas is like a wrecking ball. Sometimes a building is so old or so damaged it just has to come down. The wrecking ball does the job.
--- WRECKING BALL VIDEO ---
Malachi’s Christmas is like a wrecking ball. It breaks. It crushes. It destroys. It gets the old bad stuff out of the way so that new good stuff can be built. It hurts, but it helps.
Christmas begins with pain. Salvation begins with judgment. God heals us, but the process hurts. God cleans us, but the soap burns. God fixes our messed up lives, but sometimes he has to tear things down first.
As we prepare for Christmas, let’s not just expect blessings and turkeys and fun movies and a day off of work. Let’s join together to reconsider our lives. Jesus comes to us as a refining fire. Our lives need some strong soap to get the dirt out. We need the same kind of purification
Are we giving God our best or our leftovers? Are we giving God our leftover time? Whatever we have left after work and play and kids and study and TV – we’ll give that to God, but only that, whatever isn’t used up with other stuff. Are we giving God our leftover money? If we have a little extra, we’ll put some in the basket, but if we have to cut back, we’ll cut back on giving. Are we giving God our leftover energy? What happens if we don’t have any energy left?
Are we living with deep personal integrity? Do we ever try to manipulate others? Do we hold back a key piece of information because being completely honest might blow the deal? Do we keep our promises? Are we keeping our marriage vows to love, honor, and cherish at all times, for better or worse?
Are we caring for the weak in our society? Is it enough for us not to do wrong? Are we doing something that is actively right? Are we content to look the other way? Are we happy enough to have our happy Christmas without feeding the hungry or helping the oppressed?
We need Malachi’s Christmas. We need the refiner’s fire. We need God’s strong soap to clean up our lives. We need healing. Yes, it will hurt! But it will help us. It will help our church, and it will help our world!
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Homosexuality: Reframing the Discussion (Sex Series: Week 3)
Josh Broward
Today we run the risk of misunderstanding each other. I want to begin by reading part of the statements on human sexuality in The Manual of the Church of the Nazarene and by our Board of General Superintendents:
The Church of the Nazarene views human sexuality as one expression of the holiness and beauty that God the Creator intended for His creation. It is one of the ways by which the covenant between a husband and a wife is sealed and expressed.[1]
The Church of the Nazarene believes that every man or woman should be treated with dignity, grace, and holy love, whatever their sexual orientation. However ... We stand firmly on the belief that the biblical concept of marriage, always between one man and one woman in a committed, lifelong relationship, is the only relationship within which the gift of sexual intimacy is properly expressed.[2]
This month we are trying to understand our sexuality in all its God-given beauty. Today, we are continuing to teach the holy love for God and for people which the Church of the Nazarene has always upheld. I just want to make that clear at the beginning.
I have been preparing for this sermon for more than a year. Throughout this process of reading and studying and praying, I have also thought about my friends and family members who are gay.
Sarah’s uncle is gay and lives with his partner in a long-term, loving relationship. We have stayed in their home more than once, and they showed our family great kindness and hospitality.
My cousin is gay. Her “wife” experienced severe and sustained sexual abuse by men. Now, as an adult, she is physically unable to eat foods that remind her of sex with men. Pickles, hotdogs, and mayonnaise all make her vomit!
Throughout this year, I have been talking with “JiHye.” She dated guys most of her life, but while at our church, she “came out of the closet” as a gay woman and began dating other women. She finally felt so uncomfortable in our church that she stopped attending. When I asked JiHye what I should say today, she said that I should put a human face on homosexuality.
To help us think about real people, I want to stop and hear a story from “Michelle.” Michelle no longer attends our church, but she sent us a letter telling us her story.
--- Michelle’s Story ---
After becoming a Christian at the age of 20, I had a strong desire to live for God with all my heart. God led me to Cheonan and to
A few years ago, I met a woman with whom I could talk freely about our dreams and our passion for God. We became best friends. Gradually, I found out I had very strong feelings toward her, but I wasn't thinking that I might be gay. To be honest, I didn’t agree with homosexuality since my background told me it is a sin. However, I realized that my feelings for her were becoming even stronger than before, stronger than the feelings that I have had toward any of my ex-boyfriends.
But I also found that deep in my heart there were some worries and guilt. It was kind of like you know you are having a baby, but, at the same time, you find out that the baby has no way to be born.
We tried to cut off the relationship. I tried to hang out with men. I tried to date them. However, the more men I dated, the stronger my feelings for her became. I realized that I could never love a man like I love her. But I thought, “At least, I can be single for God.”
Then, I tried something new. Up to this point, I always asked God for His grace and forgiveness about my feelings toward her. But, now, I asked God to show me the truth about this issue. I began to ask myself and God: “Is homosexual practice really a sin, or is this just a human rule?”
When I put away all my opinions which were formed by society and my background, and searched the truth for myself, I began to change my mind. It seems to me that adultery is not simply about physical sexual actions. It's about loyalty and relationship. If we love someone with genuine and sincere heart, we will be faithful and loyal to that person.
I feel that the one thing I can do is to love. I know I will never fully understand what is truth or not until I stand before Him. So I only can pray to Him for right guidance. And I feel like God isn't saying I'm on the wrong track. On the contrary, it seems like God has confirmed this path through little bits of evidence, which come slowly one by one.
After identifying myself as a lesbian, I found that it feels right inside me. I have known this woman for three years, and we see each other as our life partners. I feel so lucky that there is someone who can dream for God with me, love and share about God together, and keep company with me in this wonderful world. Because of her love for me, I am starting to love and to appreciate myself more fully. That helps me love God more.
In the past, I was one who was strongly against homosexuality, but now, it seems like God is making me see things in a new way. Now, I understand what it means to be an outsider, and I, myself, will always love and accept outsiders with the love of God, not judge them by my limited knowledge.
I’m not saying that I agree with Michelle’s conclusions, but I think it is helpful for us to hear her story. This is someone from our own church who has wrestled with her own sexual orientation.
Before we go any further, I want you to stop and think about someone you know who is gay. It may be a friend or a family member or a coworker or some famous person who is gay. Get somebody’s face in your mind right now. Today we aren’t just talking about homosexuality – a hot topic issue, which starts fights and divides churches. We are talking about that person – your friend, my cousin, people in our church.
My goal today is not to say something about homosexuality. I don’t want to tell you what I believe or what the Bible “says.” If I do that, you will probably agree or disagree with me and then stop thinking.
My goal today is to start a conversation – or to restart a conversation about homosexuality and the Bible and Christianity. In Western culture, our conversation has collapsed into a shouting match. In Korean culture, there isn’t really a conversation about homosexuality. People just pretend it doesn’t exist. Today is a day to change that.
But we need a new framework for our conversation. We need to be able to listen and really hear people’s hearts. We need to be able to talk without shouting. Today I want to suggest some basic ideas about how to have a genuinely Christian conversation about homosexuality.
First, God does NOT hate homosexuals. On behalf of lovers of Jesus everywhere, and on behalf of God, I want to apologize for the way some church people shout hate-filled messages condemning gay people. I am sorry. That is not what the Bible teaches. God loves everyone everywhere always!
Second, we need to be careful with our vocabulary. The highest leaders of the Church of the Nazarene explain it like this:
The Bible says nothing about homosexuality as the term is often used today. Homosexuality is often used today to describe a person’s sexual orientation. The Bible does not address homosexual orientation. What the Bible does talk about are homosexual acts. … Sexual orientation is not usually a willful choice. …It is amoral, neither moral nor immoral. Sexual behavior is a moral choice.[3]
We need to be very careful about the words we use. When we talk about what the Bible says, we need to talk about homosexual practice not homosexuality.
Why is this important? Many gay people connect their sexual orientation with their identity. If we say, “Homosexuality is wrong,” for a gay person, that sounds like or feels like we are saying, “Who you are as a person is fundamentally wrong or evil.” Some gay Christians decide that the most faithful thing they can do is to stay single and celibate. They give up sex and marriage forever because of their deep faithfulness to the Bible. It is terribly unjust and illogical for us to say that they are wrong or evil.
Third, we need to understand a little sociology. Way back in the 1950s, a scientist named Alfred Kinsey concluded that it is too simplistic to think only in terms of heterosexuals and homosexuals. Instead, he suggests 8 different categories: [4]
People tend to identify as gay or straight, but they may have feelings or experiences going the other way.
Experts say it is very difficult to gather accurate data on how many people are gay or bisexual. As far as I can tell, about 5-10% of the global population is predominately homosexual. Sometimes, people say, “There are no gay people in
Maybe we should stop for a minute and read a story about another time when the Church dealt with a hotly debated topic. Let’s read Acts 15:1-22.
So let’s compare a little. Then, in about 50 A.D., there were only 20-50,000 Christians in the whole world. There was a central, unified leadership structure in
But now, we have 2 billion Christians scattered all over the world. We have thousands of denominations and leadership structures. On the hotly debated issue of slavery, it took well over 100 years for Christians to reach a unified consensus. On the issues surrounding women’s liberty, Christians have been arguing for more than 100 years, and we are just now beginning to reach consensus. But, as some people here will tell you, that debate isn’t over.
In many ways, the global Church is in a similar debate about homosexuality. This debate cannot be settled by one group of Christians in one culture. The discussion must involve all of us, and that takes time. This discussion is probably only 30-40 years old, so we will probably be talking about this for a long, long time.
So then, the natural question is: How do we have good discussion in the Church?
First and foremost, we need HUMILITY. Brian McClaren was asked, “How should Christians … address the issue of homosexuality?” He said: “First, before we say or do anything, we should pray for wisdom … There's a big difference between being right and being wise… When the issue of homosexuality comes up, people quickly say, "What about Romans 1? What about Leviticus? What about 1 Corinthians 6?" I want to say, "Well, what about 1 Corinthians 13? What about James 3?”[6]
OK. So, let’s read 1 Corinthians 13 (verses 1-7) and Jame3 (verses 13-18).
Throughout this discussion, we need to be deeply loving, which means being patient, kind, polite, and hopeful. Throughout this discussion about homosexuality, God calls us to be deeply wise, which means being humble, helpful, gentle, peace-making, merciful, and sincere. If we lose this basic stance of humble love and humble wisdom, we have gone astray.
Secondly, we need: COMPASSION. We need to remember that we are talking about real people. We need to remember the struggle that these real people experience. Most gay people don’t choose to be gay. Most gay people would rather be heterosexual like the majority of people. Most people only acknowledge their inner homosexuality after a painful struggle and years of denial. We need to be very careful about the stones that we throw.
Third, we need COMMITMENT TO TRUTH. William Coffin makes a painful realization: “Most, if not all of us, tend to hold certainty dearer than truth. … Uncertainty is one of the heart’s greatest fears. So fearful, in fact, is uncertainty that many insecure people engage in what psychiatrists call ‘premature closure.’”[7] We need to care so much about truth that we avoid “premature closure.” We need to consider the possibility of rethinking a few things.
But this discussion is still not a free-for-all, at least not for Christians. As Christians we are deeply committed to finding truth in the Bible. The Bible is our ultimate guide for faith and practice.
However, that doesn’t make the search for truth simple. We can’t just lift a sentence out of the Bible and say, “God said it. I believe it. That settles it.” The Bible says some pretty wild things sometimes. The Bible says God told
Now, I’m not trying to make fun of the Bible. All I’m saying is that it can be difficult to understand what this book means to us thousands of years later. It simply won’t do to be simplistic. We need to acknowledge the complexity of the Bible even as we dig deeply into the Bible in our pursuit of truth.
When we actually start studying the Bible, we will find out surprisingly that homosexual practice is not a major theme of the Bible. In terms of total content, the Bible is much more concerned with other ethical themes like justice, sharing with the poor, being a supportive community, and honesty.
In fact, there are only five texts that directly address homosexual practice. The Bible specifically prohibits homosexual practice in four places: Leviticus
But the most powerful text against homosexual practice is in Romans. Let’s read Romans 1:18-32.
“Conservatives” read this passage and say, “See, homosexual practice is always wrong because it is against nature.” “Liberals” usually say two things: “First, what if someone is born with gay DNA? Then, being gay would be with their nature not against it. Second, what if homosexual practice is in the same category as slavery and male domination of women? What if we need to reinterpret the Bible on gay marriage as well?” And conservatives and liberals start arguing back and forth, back and forth, and they start shouting and getting angry and calling names and sending each other to hell.
We get stuck in Romans 1, but we really need to keep reading to Romans 2: “You may think that you can condemn such people, but you are just as bad, and you have no excuse! When you say they are wicked and should be punished, you are condemning yourself. For you who judge others do these very same things” (2:1-2). And then, we need to go on to chapter 3, “For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard” (
We tend to enter this debate from the “moral high ground,” feeling like we are better than the people who disagree with us. We feel like we have the right to judge other people as sinner or hypocrites. But we don’t. We are in the midst of this discussion about homosexuality and Christianity, and we are all standing in the same place. We are all sinners whom God loves.
Nazarenes around the world have been asking a lot of questions about homosexuality. Last year, the Board of General Superintendents issued a small pamphlet talking about how we as a church should deal with this issue. At the end of the booklet, they answered the question: “How do we show God’s grace to homosexuals …?” Their answers paint a beautiful picture of where God is calling us as the Church of Jesus Christ.
1) Love unconditionally. … God does not love someone any less simply because he or she is a homosexual. It is hypocritical for us to do so.
2) Be Available to Come Alongside In the Complexity of the Journey. Resist the ever-present temptation to make this a simple matter.
3) Teach the Truth and Communicate Hope. … The people of God may well be the only place left in the world where homosexuals can be loved and hear the truth of God.
4) Provide a Grace Community of Hospitality and Formation. … If the homosexual community offers a better welcome than the people of God, a struggling person will seek help from that community. If we, as the church, immediately condemn our homosexual brothers and sisters without taking the time to get to know them and to share God’s love with them, we may turn them off from the church and from God for good. Homosexuals need the church, and they matter to us because they matter to God.
If the church wants to get serious about helping the homosexual seeking to be a Christlike disciple, we must think in terms of consistent, rich hospitality. … We cannot expect a person to “go deal with this and come back when you have it settled.” One of our best means of grace is the hospitality and character formation in the fellowship of the church. God grant our church grace to be such a community.[8]
It is my hope that this discussion today will be one more step toward helping us be a community of grace. My great prayer is that we will be a loving community where all people are welcomed, where all people experience God’s transforming grace, where all people become more like Jesus, where all people can participate in God’s great mission of changing our world. God grant our church grace to be such a community.
[1] The Manual, “Human Sexuality: 37.”
[2] Board of General Superintendents, Church of the Nazarene, “A Pastoral Perspective on Homosexuality,” 2008, http://www.nazarene.org/files/docs/Perspectives_Homosexuality.pdf.
[3] Ibid.
[4] “Kinsey Reports” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_Reports, downloaded 11.12.2009.
[5] http://academic.naver.com.doc_id=6518310
[6] “7 Burning Issues: Gay Rights,” Relevant Magazine, May/June 2008, downloaded 8.11.2009. http://www.relevantmagazine.com/features-reviews/god/1457-7-burning-issues-gay-rights.
[7] William Sloane Coffin, “
[8] “Pastoral Perspectives on Homosexuality,” Ibid.
Sex Myths: Marriage and Singlness (Sex Series - Week 2)
Josh Broward
Kevin Leman is a Christian marriage counselor. He often travels around giving marriage seminars. One of his lectures is called, “What Every Parent Ought to Know about Sex.” He always begins this seminar by asking a very simple, straightforward question: “What do we call penises in our society?”
Silence … dead silence. Leman says once a lady on the front row elbowed her husband and asked, “Bill, is he talking about piano players or what?”
Leman keeps pushing: “Come on, what do we call penises in our society? Better yet, what did your mother call your penis, men?” You know when she was giving you a bath, and it was time to wash that part, what did she call it?
So, he starts asking for a show of hands: “How many people called it a ding dong when you were growing up? A pecker? A wiener?”
Eventually the awkwardness starts wearing off and people start shouting out words: peter, pokey, the thing, ying-yang, dork, dink, pee-wee, boy part, private part, schlong, junk, piece, unit, rod, pee-pee, tee-tee, thing-a-majig. If he were in Korea, somebody would say 고추 (or pepper).
By this time, people are laughing so hard they are crying. And then, Leman reads a quote from another psychologist. “There is no reason ‘that a male [child], who points to various parts of his body and ears his parents say, “nose,” “eye,” “hand,” “toe,” should suddenly hear strange [evasive words] when he points to his genital area and hears “pee-pee,” “pee-wee,” “wienie,” “teapot,” … to cite only a few. Then he soon discovers that he is never to use the word around anyone outside the home.’”
All of these cute, funny names for a penis (and let’s not even get started with talking about the names we give to the “girl-parts”) – all of this sends a message to our children and to us that sex is dirty or secret or shameful. Sex is not something we can talk about. We can’t say the real names of our body parts, much less talk about what they do.[1]
Today, we are continuing our series on sex by talking about marriage and singleness. I want to do some myth busting today. We are going to talk about the top 10 sex myths in today’s world and what the real truth is.
Sex Myth #1: We can’t talk about sex. After last week’s sermon, we got two main comments: (1) That was interesting, and (2) That was really awkward. Honestly, I felt a little awkward, too. I pretty much never get nervous preaching anymore, but I was really nervous last week. It seems that we are basically out of practice when it come to talking about sex.
Truth: We need to talk about sex. I don’t agree with everything they say, but Salt and Pepa really got it right when they said we need to talk about sex.
Let's talk about sex, baby
Let's talk about you and me
Let's talk about all the good things
And the bad things that may be
Let's talk about sex …
Let's talk about sex for now to the people at home or in the crowd
It keeps coming up anyhow
Don't decoy, avoid, or make void the topic
Because that ain't gonna stop it
Now we talk about sex on the radio and video shows
Many will know anything goes
Let's tell it how it is, and how it could be
How it was, and of course, how it should be
If we don’t talk about sex, it becomes this big secret and a “forbidden fruit” that everybody wants to get a piece of in the dark when no one is looking. But if we talk openly and honestly about “how it is and how it could be … and how it should be,” then we shine the light of truth on the subject. We de-mystify it and at the same time reveal its amazing beauty within healthy boundaries.
The Bible talks about sex in all its beauty and romance. Let’s start with reading Song of Songs 4:1-5:1.
Sex Myth #2: Sex begins in the bedroom. Imagine this scene. The wife finally gets the kids in bed, and now she is finishing the last of the dishes. The husband is relaxing on the couch, watching the evening news. The wife goes into the bedroom to change into her pajamas, and a little bell goes off in the man’s head, followed by an announcement on his internal intercom: “Wife in bedroom. Wife undressing. This is your moment. Proceed to sex.” The man is shocked when the wife isn’t interested.
Truth: Sex begins in the kitchen. Men, if you want your wife to be more interested in sex, try doing the dishes first.[2] When we were in the
The basic truth here is that women need to feel loved and cared for before they want to have sex. Sex begins with the little things: taking time to hug and cuddle a little before leaving for work in the morning, leaving a love note on the counter, asking how her day was (and really listening!), helping with the house work, going for a walk together – whatever it is that your wife wants and needs, give it to her. You’ll be glad you did!
Sex Myth #3: Men and women are basically the same. If we are honest, most of the time, we think that the other person does or should think, act, and feel the same way that we do.
Truth: Men and women are fundamentally different. I saw a nice picture of how this works for sex. Men are simple: on or off. Just turn the switch. Women are far more complex.
Men are like waffles. Inside our brains, there are these little boxes. There is the work box, the sports box, the family box, the sleep box, the sex box. And the parts of our lives go into these boxes and nothing touches.
But women are like spaghetti. Each issue is one noodle, and everything is connected. If you take one issue – like sex – and follow that noodle around, it touches work, sleep, kids, mom and dad, what she saw on television that night, whether or not she has gained or lost a pound, what her friend said to her on the phone, and whether or not she found fresh tomatoes at the grocery store that day. To men, that looks like a big mess, but for women this is the natural beauty of living as a deeply emotional being.
Because men are like waffles, men are also like microwaves. Once men switch to that sex box, it doesn’t take very long before they are ready to go. Moving into sex mode ……bing! Ready!
However, since women are like spaghetti, they are also like Crock-Pots or slow-cookers. It usually takes them a while to get warmed up.
Now microwaves are good for some things. They are great for when you don’t have a lot of time. But nobody wants microwaved food every night. And if you try to microwave food that belongs in a Crock-Pot, one of two things is going to happen. Either you are going to get so-so food that nobody is really happy with, or the Crock-Pot is going to get up and walk off.
Men and women are just different. We need to learn those differences and embrace them to have good relationships. The real key to good sex is not good technique but good relationships.
Sex Myth #4: Everybody knows how to have sex. It’s true that almost every teenager or adult understands the basic process of sexual intercourse – insert object A into slot B. However, that doesn’t mean they really know how to have sex well.
Truth: We have to learn how to have sex. Kevin Leman, that marriage counselor I told you about at the beginning, he says that only 2% of couples who come to see him feel like they have had an adequate sex education.[3]
I’ve shown you this book before, but it’s one of my favorites, so I want to show it again. It’s called Everything Men Know about Women. On the back cover it says, “Fiercely frank and brilliantly insightful, this work spells out everything men know about such topics as: making friends with women, romancing women, achieving emotional intimacy with women, making commitments to women, satisfying women in bed.” On the front cover, it says, “Fully reveals the shocking truth!” Open it up … it’s all blank, 100% blank pages. Men don’t know anything about women or sex!
Learning to have good sex is like learning to play a musical instrument. It takes time and practice. You need to get to know the guitar or the violin, understand how it works, how to hold it just right, where to put your hands … and once you get some practice and training and maybe some music theory, you can make some really beautiful music.
Sex is like that. It may not be “sweet music” at the beginning. But two of the most important virtues for good sex are hope and perseverance. Keep practicing. Keep learning together. Maybe read a good book on sex (preferably from a Christian perspective). I highly recommend Sheet Music by Kevin Leman. After some time and practice, the two of you will learn to work together to make music you both love.
Sex Myth #5: Good girls don’t like sex. This is an old, old myth. The myth is that men are sex fiends – crazy for sex, thinking about it all the time, but women are basically opposed to sex or at least indifferent. The myth is that sex is just something a woman does for a man – like washing the dishes or sweeping the floor.
Truth: Really good girls love sex. For example, listen to what the woman in Song of Songs has to say about sex: Song of Songs 2:1-8, 16-17.
She obviously loves sex. She is excited about her body, her husband’s body, and the idea of having sex together: “Return to me my love, like a gazelle or a young stag on the rugged mountains” (
But the truth is that many women have to learn to like sex. Most women don’t have good role models when it comes to sex. Their mothers didn’t like it or at least didn’t talk about it, so they expect that they won’t particularly enjoy it either. Also, some studies show that 1 out of every 4 women has been sexually abused.[4] Even more have had bad sexual experiences. For many women, it just takes time to get over a painful sexual history.
But here is a surprising truth for men. The most important thing for HIM is HER pleasure. When the woman is having a good time, the man feels great. This is blunt, but here it is. Most men enjoy the woman’s orgasms more than their own orgasm.[5] When a woman really loves sex, that strengthens a man’s ego and confidence – and his affection for his wife. Women, if you want to make your husbands really happy in bed, the most important thing you can do is learn to really, really like sex.
Sex Myth #6: Once you get married, you don't have to worry about sexual temptation. When I was single, I thought, “Ah, I can’t wait until I get married and I don’t have to worry about feeling tempted sexually.”
Truth: EVERYONE has sexual temptation. We need to be wise.
Proverbs 5:1-8, 15-19
I highly recommend that men and women alike read the book Every Man’s Battle. It was very helpful for me. We all face sexual temptations. Proverbs says, “Don’t even go near the door of her house.” Be careful what you are thinking about. Be careful what you are watching – even if it’s just a normal movie. Is watching that sex scene in the movie really going to help you be faithful to your spouse or live as a faithful single person? Be careful. Be wise. Sometimes, we just need to shut down certain thoughts before they go too far.
Sex Myth #7: There is one right person and one right time to get married. Every culture has different standards for how and when we get married. Some cultures push for young marriages. Others push for older marriages. Some cultures push for founding the relationship on romantic love, and other cultures push for marriages that are basically arranged around convenience and timing.
Truth: God works differently for all of us. Romantic love and timing are less important than character and commitment. The right time for you to get married might be earlier or later than the norm in your culture. That’s OK. After prayer and consideration, you might decide to marry a good friend without those wild, head-over-heals, madly-in-love feelings. Those feelings are nice but not essential. The most important thing here is to be open to however God is leading you.
Sex Myth #8: Good Christians get married. Often, we present getting married and having babies as the only faithful path for real Christians. If that's true, then Jesus was a bad Christian.
Truth: Singleness is a good option. Listen to what Jesus said about this.
Matthew 19:1-12
Maybe the most Christian – the most Christ-like - thing to do is to stay single. “Some choose not to marry for the sake of the Kingdom” (
Let’s hear what Paul has to say on this subject.
I Corinthians 7:1-9, 32-35
So Paul’s summary is that we should do whatever will help us serve God better. If being single will help you serve God, be single. If being married will help you serve God, get married.
I decided to get married for two basic reasons. First, um … how does Paul say it, “It is better to get married than to burn with lust.” I would have burned in hell as a single man! Second, Sarah really does help me serve God better. She helps me to be a better friend and a better pastor. Also, I was head-over-heals in love with Sarah, so that helped a lot!
Sex Myth #9: Single people have no outlet for their sexuality. Sometimes people think if they aren’t “getting some,” then they have no means to express their sexuality.
Truth: Sexuality is holistic. Our sexual organs are not the only parts of us that are sexual. Our sexuality is rooted deep within our personhood. Our sexuality is expressed through a wide variety of activities: friendships, sports, writing, art, poetry, play, music and more.
What we need is not “to get some action.” Sometimes, what we really need is to stop spending so much time in front of the computer or TV. We need to feed our souls and emotions through a wide range of activities and experiences that touch our emotions, challenge our minds, and offer us physical contact and relationships that aren’t leading to a bedroom.
Sex Myth #10: Mistakes are forever. Sometimes, Christians talk like sex is a super-sin – like it’s the worst of all possible kinds of sin and that anyone with sexual sin is forever damaged, relationally hopeless, and probably going to hell just as soon as God can get his lightening ready.
Truth: We have scars, but God gives healing. Most of us have done things we wish we hadn’t done. Things went too far. We wish we could go back and undo those actions, but we can’t.
The city of
But that isn’t the end of the story. In the Old Testament, God has many names – mostly based on how people experience him. A few weeks ago, we read Hagar’s story and how she started calling God “El-Roy” or “God Who Hears.” One of God’s names is “Jehovah Rapha” or “God Who Heals.”
Our God is a healing God. He takes our broken messed up lives, and he pours his grace on us and restores us and puts our broken pieces back together and heals our wounds. No matter what you have done, no matter what has been done to you, no matter if you are satisfied with your sex life or if you feel like it is crap, God loves you. God cares for you. God has a future and a hope for you. God can bring healing in your life and give you peace and joy and healthy relationships. The truth is … we all need to be healed.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)