May 26, 2011
Josh Broward
These days, we are talking about what it means to be the church. So far, we’ve talked about hospitality, family, living the mission, and conflict. Today, we’re picking up an issue that is really important for our local church: Culture Shock.
I want to start with a simple example. Words are like bags or containers for meaning. The words themselves are packages in which we store meaning, and different cultures pack words with different meanings. Sometimes, we’re surprised at the meanings other cultures pack into their words.
Here’s one example of how this might work. Jereme and Adam both went shopping. They both brought home a bag that says E-Mart.
- They both bought noodles. (Jereme shows Korean “glass” noodles. Adam shows spaghetti.) They might look a little different, but they’re pretty close.
- They both bought red sauce. (Adam shows tomato sauce. Jereme shows red pepper paste.) Those are going to taste VERY different.
- They both bought something fermented. (Jereme shows kimchi. Adam shows sour cream.) At this point, both people might be saying, “You’re going to eat that?! Sour cabbage? Rotten milk?” And both people are saying, “Oh yeah, that’s good stuff.”
- They both bought fruit. (Adam shows an apple. Jereme shows a 참외.) Sometimes, when you start unpacking cultural differences, you run into a total difference. One person says, “What is that? We don’t even have a name for that.” Actually, the only translation I could find for 참외 is “oriental melon.” Basically, the dictionary people were like, “Um ... it’s kind of like melons you have in other countries, but not really.”
This is how words and cultures work. They are using the same word [E-mart], but they’ve packed it with different things. Sometimes, they’re pretty similar - like noodles. Sometimes, they’re different - like “red sauce.” Sometimes, we are shocked by the way a different culture defines a word or experience. Other times, we just scratch our heads and say, “I don’t really even understand that. We don’t have anything like that.” Then, the best we can say is, “It’s kind of like ... this.”
We have these kind of issues as a church. Even when we’re speaking the same language, we are still packing those words with our own cultural meanings.
First, there is no vaccine. Everybody gets culture shock. If you have any long-term exposure to people of other cultures, you will get culture shock. As Bill Patch used to say to the new professors, “99% get culture shock, and the other 1% are lying!”
Second, there is no cure. There is nothing you can do to make culture shock completely go away. As long as you are with people from different cultures, you will still get culture shock. I’ve been here for almost seven years, and I still get culture shock.
However, there are treatments or therapies. There are things we can do to make culture shock better, less severe, easier to live with. And all of these treatments are deeply spiritual, deeply Christian, deeply Biblical.
The first treatment for culture shock is UNDERSTANDING. The book of Proverbs is all about understanding. Let’s read the first part of chapter 2 now.
1 My child, listen to what I say, and treasure my commands.
2 Tune your ears to wisdom, and concentrate on understanding.
3 Cry out for insight, and ask for understanding.
4 Search for them as you would for silver; seek them like hidden treasures.
5 Then you will understand what it means to fear the Lord, and you will gain knowledge of God.
6 For the Lord grants wisdom! From his mouth come knowledge and understanding.
7 He grants a treasure of common sense to the honest. He is a shield to those who walk with integrity.
8 He guards the paths of the just and protects those who are faithful to him.
9 Then you will understand what is right, just, and fair, and you will find the right way to go.
10 For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will fill you with joy.
11 Wise choices will watch over you. Understanding will keep you safe.
Understanding is a key to life. Concentrate on understanding. Ask for understanding. Understanding will keep you safe. Understanding is so important for culture shock, that we’re going to spend a lot of time on this first therapy. We need three different kinds of understanding.
We need to understand the process of culture shock. Here’s a quick overview.
Stage 1: The Honeymoon Period. This is the stage when everything is new and beautiful and wonderful. You are soooo excited about your new adventure in a new culture. Everything is cute or cool. Isn’t it just so cute how all the little kids point and say some random English thing? Hello. My name is. What’s your favorite color? This stage usually lasts between two weeks and three months.
Stage 2: Frustration. Eventually things aren't so cute any more. Many of those little differences or “adventures” that were so intriguing at the beginning start to become grating and draining. Don’t you just hate it when the kids point and say some random English thing?! I’ve got a finger I can point too, kids! This is the hardest stage of culture shock. We can feel homesick, depressed, angry, and helpless. This stage can last anywhere from three months to one year. Some people go home while they are still in frustration mode.
Stage 3: Transition. You start to learn some things that are helpful. Maybe you actually start studying Korean, so you can say more than “Anyanghaseo” and “Kamsahamnida.” You can actually use chopsticks without dropping your food all over your shirt. The key point at this stage is regaining hope. The transition period usually lasts one to three months.
Stage 4: New Balance. After a while, you start to get adjusted. You kind of find your rhythm in a new place, living in a new way. You feel less out of place. You find a few groups or communities where you really belong. And amazingly, your focus begins to shift away from culture shock and onto just living life.
Stage 5: Re-entry Shock. You thought we were done, right? Nope. When we go home, we have culture-shock in our own culture. Home isn't the same any more – or at least it's not the same for us. It takes time to get adjusted again.
Stage 6: Recycle. You thought we were done again, right? Gotcha! Culture shock just keeps coming and coming. Once you finish one cycle, you just move back into it again. But once you’ve gone through the process, it’s a lot messier from then on. You might be in different stages at the same time in different areas of your life.
Just knowing where you are in the process can be helpful. Knowing that there is a process can be helpful and hope-giving. When you’re in the frustration stage, understand that you are not alone and that it won’t be like this forever. If you persevere, you will transition and find a new and joyful balance.
We also need to understand the other culture. If you want to really thrive in a multicultural setting, you need to become a student of other cultures. Read some books. Learn the language. Ask lots of questions. Why did that just happen? What’s really going on here? What’s the history behind this issue? For more on this, check out the insert in the bulletin, “How to Learn about Korea.”
The real key here is listening. James gives us some wise advice about culture shock. “Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry” (James 1:19). If we would be a little faster to listen and a little slower to get angry, our world would be a different place.
Lastly, we need to understand ourselves. One thing I’ve seen about culture shock is that it forces our darkness to the surface. Whatever our deepest issues are, they will come out in culture shock.
When we get ready to rail on how bad another culture is, we need to take time to heed the ancient words, “Prophet, know thyself.” Before we go around trying to pick out the “specks” in other cultures, we need to take a long hard look at our own lives, at our own hearts, and at our own cultures. We might find some rotten old “planks” in places we don’t expect. (See Matthew 7:3-5.)
So “tune your ears to wisdom, and concentrate on understanding. Cry out for insight, and ask for understanding. Search for them as you would for silver; seek them like hidden treasures. ... Understanding will keep you safe” (Proverbs 2:2, 3, 11).
The next key therapy for culture shock is FRIENDSHIP. For this one, let’s take a look at one of the classic texts on friendship - Ecclesiastes 4:7-12.
7 I observed yet another example of something meaningless under the sun. 8 This is the case of a man who is all alone, without a child or a brother, yet who works hard to gain as much wealth as he can. But then he asks himself, “Who am I working for? Why am I giving up so much pleasure now?” It is all so meaningless and depressing.
9 Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. 10 If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. 11 Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? 12 A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.
Culture shock and isolation are a dangerous combination. If you are going through culture shock alone, you are likely to end up depressed and bitter. Maybe you came to Korea to pay off your debts or to have some adventure, but you can end up saying, “Who am I working for? Why I am giving up so much ... ? It’s all so meaningless and depressing.”
Isolation is dangerous and difficult for single people and for introverts - and especially for single introverts. If you find yourself isolated, make your way to a Bible study. Join the adult Sunday school class. Get involved in a ministry. Join a book club. Do something with other people. Structure some relationships into your life because they probably aren’t just going to happen by accident.
If you are an extrovert, do everyone a favor and adopt an introvert. Invite them into your social circle. Bring them with you when you do stuff. Introverts are pretty cool people, but they usually won’t just walk up and ask to get involved. You’ve got to ask them.
One of the 10 Commitments for members of our church is that we will love other people - especially people of other cultures. In all of our membership classes, I always say that this means becoming friends with someone from another culture. Become true friends - not just smile and handshake “friends.” This will go a long, long way to helping us all deal with culture shock.
The last basic treatment for culture shock is GRATITUDE. Sometimes, culture shock leads us into negativity. We get together in little groups and bad-talk people from the other culture. “Can you believe he did that? What was she thinking?! That’s so rude. Oh, I know. I hate it when they do that. That’s just crazy.”
But here’s the thing. What we focus on usually becomes true. Our conversations become our reality. Negativity becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. We expect bad things and frustrations, and guess what we see? Bad things and frustrations.
This is why Paul’s advice in Philippians is so important for us. Let’s read Philippians 4:4-9.
4 Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! 5 Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. Remember, the Lord is coming soon.
6 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
8 And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. 9 Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.
Listen to how Mark Lau Branson (Memories, Hopes, and Conversations) explains this.
Gratitude is not just a fleeting emotion - it is foundational. As a response to God’s gracious initiatives, gratitude changes us to our very core. Gratitude is not first affect (emotions), although it often helps us move from fear or doubt or anger; rather, gratitude is a stance that changes our perceptions, our thinking, our discernment. When our beginning place is thankfulness - for God, for God’s creation and redemption, for God’s ongoing mercies, and for evidences of God’s grace - then we give attention to all signs of grace. Our thankfulness, especially when voiced, makes grace more available, more present, more powerful - to oneself and to one’s community.
We could easily dismiss this: “Sure, it’s easy for Paul and Mark-whoever to say be grateful. But it’s different for me. I’m here in Korea, working like crazy or being bored like crazy.” But Paul was beaten, shipwrecked, whipped, put in an arena with wild animals, and more. Paul actually wrote these words about gratitude while living in a Roman prison, where he was in chains for his faith. Yet, Paul was absolutely saturated with the love and joy of God.
This is the heart of the gospel. God loves us deeply. We have rejected God and rejected each other. But God worked through Christ to reclaim his lost children and to make peace within his family. God forgave our sins and rebellion, and in Paul’s words: “Christ himself has brought peace to us. He united [us] into one people when, in his own body on the cross, he broke down the wall of hostility that separated us... He made peace between [us] by creating in himself one new people from the two groups” (Ephesians 2:14-16).
Sure, we experience culture shock. Sure, we get frustrated. Sure, we have hard times, but God is good. God offers us amazing grace. We don’t deserve it. We can’t earn it. It’s free and limitless. But God’s grace changes us --- if we let it. We have so much to be thankful for. We can start with God’s amazing grace and let that grace open our eyes to the countless blessings all around us.
We all get culture shock. There is no vaccine and no cure. But there is treatment.
“Cry out for insight, and ask for understanding. Search for them as you would for silver; seek them like hidden treasures.”
Develop friendships that will support you and strengthen you.
Practice gratitude.
Remember God’s goodness, and be grateful. Remember all the blessings that are yours by living in Korea, and be thankful. Remember all the good things that come from multicultural community, and rejoice.
