Prayers of Trust in Hard Times (Psalm 13)

Psalm 13:
¹ O Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever?
How long will you look the other way?
² How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul,
with sorrow in my heart every day?
How long will my enemy have the upper hand?

³ Turn and answer me, O Lord my God!
Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die.
⁴ Don’t let my enemies gloat, saying, “We have defeated him!”
Don’t let them rejoice at my downfall.

⁵ But I trust in your unfailing love.
I will rejoice because you have rescued me.
⁶ I will sing to the Lord
because he is good to me.

Watch this clip from the movie Bruce Almighty: (skip to 4:28, and then watch to 1:30 on the next part).

God is not weak. God is not afraid of us. God is not emotionally challenged. God is not a temperamental ruler that we have to suck up to.

God is GOD. God is the Supreme Ruler of the Universe. God is the great I AM. God is the Almighty, the Unshakable, the Unstopable. God is the Creator and the Sustainer of everything that is.

God can handle us. God can handle our complaints. God can handle our anger, our sadness, our outrage, our doubts, our fears, our feelings – all of our feelings.

God does not need our politeness. God does not need our fancy words. God does not need us to pretend that everything is OK when it's not. God does not need fake faith or trivial trust.

God needs honesty. God needs arguments. God needs the real us to come to the table with our real needs and our real feelings. God is the King of the Real, and he will tolerate no falsehood. The Real God demands and deserves the real us.

Today, we are talking about prayers of trust in hard times. Half of praying during hard times is just telling God how you feel. When life sucks, tell God how bad it sucks. Let it all hang out.

Proverbs 24:26 says, “Giving an honest answer is a sign of true friendship,” or “It is an honor to receive an honest reply.” Honest prayers honor God. Don't dishonor God by being dishonest. If you're angry, pray with anger. If you're sad, pray with sadness. If you have doubts, pray your doubts. God already knows how you feel. The best thing you can do is to talk it out with God.

The first half of praying with trust is trusting that God can handle our feelings. We trust that God is not going to walk away from us. We trust that God is not going to send down the lightning bolts and burn us off the face of the earth. We trust that God is not going to damn us to hell because we are angry. We trust that our relationship can stand a little fighting. Honesty is a deep form of trust.

The second half of prayers of trust during hard times is putting our trust in God's unfailing love. For four verses David cries out: “How long? Have you forgotten about me? Why aren't you listening? Look at me! Help me! I'm dying here!” Then, in verse 5, David says: “But I trust in your unfailing love.”

This is the turning point. This is the mystery. Sometimes life sucks. Sometimes we don't understand. Sometimes we feel like God is absent, like God is not answering the phone, like God is skipping class, like God forgot to show up to work today or this month or this year! Sometimes we don't know how to make sense of all of this.

Yet, even in all of this mystery, we trust in God's unfailing love. We don't understand, but we trust in God's unfailing love. We doubt, but we trust in God's unfailing love. We are angry and sad and scared, but we trust in God's unfailing love.

In John chapter 6, Jesus told the crowds that they must eat his body and drink his blood to experience eternal life. The people didn't get it: “This is very hard to understand. How can anyone accept it?” Many of Jesus' disciples turned and walked away. They didn't understand. The mystery was too great. They walked away from Jesus.

Jesus looked at the Twelve Apostles, and he said: “Are you going to leave me, too?”

Peter answered for all of them, “Lord, to whom would we go? You have the words that give eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God” (John 6: 60-69).

When we face the mystery of pain and hard times, sometimes we just have to say, “Lord, where else can we turn? You have promised us unfailing love. We feel like your love is failing now. We don't understand how this can be love, but we will stay with you. Where else can we go? You are the only God there is.”

Another part of trusting God in hard times is turning to God for refuge. Psalm 5 ends like this: “But let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them sing joyful praises forever. Spread your protection over them, that all who love your name may be filled with joy. For you bless the godly, O LORD; you surround them with your shield of love” (Psalm 5:11-12).

When I was in university, I learned an important lesson. I liked this girl. I loved her, actually. We were talking about getting married, but then we broke up. Later, I tried to get back together with her, but she didn't want to. After a while, she told me, “Don't call me. Don't write to me. Don't talk to me. We're done.” That was one of the lowest points of my life. I went out to the baseball field and hid in the dugout and cried. I cried for months after that.

But during all of that pain, I learned a lesson from Psalm 91. God “alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him” (Psalm 91:2). When life was a storm that beat me and soaked me and bruised me, I hid away in my Refuge. I crawled away from the storm and hid out inside my Refuge. And, there, God spread his protection over me. He put medicine on my wounded heart. He repaired my broken soul, and he gave me the strength to live in new ways.

Emma has a book about baby animals. One of the stories is about a baby duck. Adult ducks' feathers are waterproof. They aren't naturally waterproof. It takes special effort to make them waterproof. Ducks have a special gland near their tails that emits oil. Ducks rub their beaks on this oily gland and then wipe that oil all over their bodies. Then, voila!, they are waterproof. Water just rolls right off them.

But baby ducks don't know how to do this yet. Before they go for their first swim, the momma duck gets all her ducklings together and wipes them down with oil from her own tail. The ducklings all take their turn to get waterproofed by momma.

This is kind of how it works with us and God. Life throws a lot of junk at us: criticism, failure, job loss, hair loss, cancer, back pain, accidents, relationship problems, marriage problems. Sometimes, there's a lot of rain coming down. When life is raining, we need to sit quietly in God's refuge and let him spread his protecting love all over our feathers. This takes time. Sometimes, we have to just sit there with God and let him love us. We just sit there and let him remind us that we are his and that he will always love us and always be with us.

We may not be waterproof or bulletproof or pain-proof, but we will be soaked in God's love. We will be ready for the storm.

When life is hard, we pray. Praying with faith and trust means two basic things. 1) We trust God enough to be honest about the pain. 2) We trust in God's unfailing love – no matter how we feel during the pain.

God may or may not do what we ask, and we may never know why. But we have this promise. God wants to know exactly how we feel, and God's unfailing love endures forever.

Fast and Slow - Intro to Lent 2009

KNU International English Church

Josh Broward

February 22, 2009

Deuteronomy 8:1-18
1 Peter 5:5-11
Mark 1:21-39

The season of Lent is 40 days. 40 days of praying and fasting. 40 days of remembering and repenting. 40 days to repair and to refocus.

40 is an important number in the Bible.

In Genesis 7, after God told Noah to build an ark, he sent rains for 40 days and 40 nights. I don't really get the flood and why God did it, but I understand this. The world was going all wrong, and God used this “retreat” to purify humanity and to make a fresh start in the world.

In Exodus, two times God called Moses up to the mountain top for a 40 day spiritual retreat (Exodus 24:18 and 34:28). When Moses left the mountain, he had the 10 commandments and the covenant from God.

After being set free from Egypt, God called the people of Israel to wander in the desert for 40 years. He “humbled” them and “tested” them in the wilderness before he led them to the Promised Land. God brought them out of Egypt, but it took 40 years for him to get Egypt out of them.

When Elijah was running in fear for his life, God gave him food from angels, and Elijah ran for 40 days and 40 nights until he reached Mount Sinai for a retreat with God. There, he heard the voice of God in “a gentle whisper” reminding him that he was not alone and sending him back into the world again (1 Kings 19).

The Holy Spirit sent Jesus on a 40 day spiritual retreat in the desert before he began his ministry. For 40 days and 40 nights, he fasted and prayed and faced his own greatest temptations (Matthew 4).

After Jesus resurrection, the Jesus conducted a special retreat for them for 40 days. Throughout these 40 days, Jesus appeared to them, proved himself to them, and taught them about the Kingdom of God. After 40 days, the Holy Spirit came in power at Pentecost (Acts 1-2).

What do all of these stories have in common? For 40 days or 40 years, God's people stepped away from normal life to focus on God. God used that time to teach them, to strengthen them, to purify them, and to prepare them for their role in his mission in the world.

Lent continues this tradition. 40 days. 40 days to step back from the merry-go-round, roller coaster of life. 40 days to slow down. 40 days to fast. 40 days to pray. 40 days to remember and to repent. 40 days to repair and to refocus. 40 days.

Observing Lent is one of the oldest traditions in the Christian church. Easter Sunday quickly became the most popular day for baptisms, and the days before Easter were a natural time to pray, to fast, to repent, and to learn about Jesus. Later, Easter became the time when people who had really messed up and sinned big time were officially welcomed back into the church. Lent was the time for them to practice their repentance. Finally, the whole church began to enter the process of repenting, praying, and fasting. Really, we are all sinful.
We all need to repent. We all need to repair our relationships with God and to refocus on really following Jesus.

Lent also has another focus. With Lent, we follow Jesus' journey to Jerusalem and to the cross. In Luke 9, Jesus understood that his time was coming quickly, so “Jesus resolutely set out for Jerusalem” (9:51). Jesus knew his death was coming. He knew the cross was coming. He warned his disciples. They couldn't see it, but he could. He willingly went to Jerusalem to die.

In Lent, we journey with Jesus on that journey of death. We prepare ourselves to die with Christ, so that we may also be raised with Christ. Slowly and step by step, we lay down our lives. We lay down and give up all of the things of this world that we've been holding on to. We die to our stuff, and die to our sin, and die to ourselves, and die to our hungers. Before we can be raised up, we have to die. Lent is that journey of dying.

Lent is also a time when we remember that we will all die physically. At our Ash Wednesday service this week (8pm right here!), we will put the ashes on our heads, and we'll hear the words “You are dust, and you will return to dust.” We are mortal. All of us are mortal. All of us will die. These bodies will not last forever. Suddenly or slowly, early or late, ready or not, we will all die. Lent reminds us that life is short. Lent calls us to make corrections and repairs to our lives while we still have time. Lent reminds us to live well before we die.

This week I went to visit SoYoung several times. On Thursday, I asked her if there was anything she would like to send a message to the church. She gave that great big SoYoung smile, and she started talking while I typed. This is what she said:

Hello, my true church members. This is SoYoung. Nowadays, my condition is very nice because many painkillers help me. Before this experience, I was a shallow Christian. But nowadays, through God, my faith is stronger, and I am closer to God. So nowadays, I can feel Jesus’ love.

Life is not long, so focus your attention on God and living with a good attitude. God always loves you.

I want to join the worship service with my friends by playing violin and piano, but now I can’t. That is also God’s will. Sometimes, God just keeps silent – no answer. But we must know that silence is also an answer. So don't be disappointed; God has already made a plan for us.

Don’t be afraid. God made us to be strong. Sometimes, we forget we are Christians. That is not good. I don’t want to be guilty of this ever again. My true friends, don’t forget that you are Christians.

Now I don’t blame God. I don’t need to do that. God already decided my destiny, so I am staying in peace.

My lovely friends, don’t worry about me. Instead, pray a lot please. That is a good way to help me. I love you.

Throughout this season of Lent, the focus of our worship services will be on prayer. Before and after each service, the lights will be dim, and the room will be quiet for 20 minutes to give people time to pray. Instead of walking around to greet each other at the beginning of the worship services, we will sit in our seats and pray. The pulpit will be on the side of the stage because our focus will be on prayer not on the sermons. After the sermon, we will have extra time for prayer and extra ways to pray. We will celebrate the Lord's Supper every week, and we will also have prayer stations for you to experiment with different types of prayer. You will be able to kneel in front of the cross and pray. You can have someone pray for you. You can write a prayer request. You can light a candle as a sign of your prayers for someone else. You can simply stay in your seats and pray. But the focus of our service will be prayer. In fact, the focus of the whole season of Lent for us will be prayer. We hope that these prayers on Sunday morning will help us all pray more on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday.

Each week we will hear a short sermon based on a psalm and a different type of prayer. We will talk about prayers of trust during hard times, prayers of suffering, prayers connecting us with God, prayers of thanksgiving, prayers of silence, and prayers for guidance. And every week, we will practice those types of prayers together.

Part of Lent is also fasting. Ironically, fasting is really about slowing. (Crazy English!) The point of fasting is really slowing down our ordinary life so that we have more space for God and others. The first Christians fasted for two reasons: to be closer to God and to give more to others.

Fasting is giving something up. Traditionally, people give up food. They skip a meal, or they don't eat meat, or something like that. Then, when they are fasting, they focus their energy on God. Instead of spending that time feeding ourselves with food, we spend that time praying and connecting with God the Source of all Life.

But early Christians, also fasted for very practical reasons. If someone in their community did not have enough money for food, they shared their food. But if they didn't have enough food to share, then everyone fasted until everyone could eat together. Fasting is a basic practice of justice. We give up what we don't really need so that others can get what they absolutely need.

In our church, we have a tradition of fasting two types of things. We fast something that costs money (like food or coffee) and something that costs time (like TV or internet surfing). Then, we redirect that money and time toward God and toward others. We spend the time in prayer, and we give the money to the poor.

This year, we have two really cool projects for our Lenten fasts. Our money that we save by fasting will be split two ways: locally and internationally. Locally, we'll help New Hope Single Moms Home. We'll encourage these moms by giving each of these single moms a small shopping spree for clothes. Internationally, we'll help support Don's House a Nazarene home for homeless boys in Vietnam. Our support will help pay for their food, clothing, and education. By giving up something small, we will be able to give strength and encouragement to others.

Really, Lent is a season to help us follow Jesus. We stop. We slow down. We look again. We repent for where we are wrong. We repair what we can make right. We refocus our attention on God. We remember that life is short, and we refuel to live well. Lent is really about going back to the basics of following Jesus.

In 137 AD, a guy named Aristides gave the Roman Emperor a report on Christians. Aristides was not a Christian himself, but listen to how he describes Christians.

It is the Christians, O Emperor, who seem to have sought and found the truth for they acknowledge God. They don’t keep for themselves the goods entrusted to them, but they show love to their neighbors. They don’t do to another what they would not want done to themselves. They speak gently to those who oppress them. In this way, they make their enemies their friends. It has become their passion to do good to their enemies. Every one of them who has anything gives ungrudgingly to the one among them who has nothing. If they see a homeless stranger they bring them in under their own roof. They rejoice over that brother or sister as if they were a real sister or brother. For they do not call one another sisters and brothers because of the flesh, but because of the spirit of their God. If anyone among them is poor, while they themselves have little to spare then the whole community will fast for two or three days until everyone can eat together. In this way they can supply any poor person with what they need. This, oh emperor, is the rule of life of the Christians. This is the way they have come to live.

Lent is about learning to live this way again. To learn this way again, we slow down and fast. We listen, and we pray. We humble ourselves before God, and we ask him to remake us. This is Lent.

“A Solitary Place” Video

Family Series 6: Hospitality

KNU International English Church

Josh Broward

February 15, 2009

Genesis 18:1-15, Hebrews 13:1-16, Matthew 25:31-46

Today, we finish our series on family life by talking about hospitality. I want to start by telling you of some of the greatest hospitality I've ever experienced.

When I was a university student, I went on a six week mission trip to Papua New Guinea. I experienced hospitality like I had never heard of or even dreamed of. We were a team of 6 college students from the USA. We spent the summer visiting remote churches in the mountains and swamps of Papua New Guinea. Sometimes, we were the first white people to ever visit these churches. We traveled by plane, by boat, by bus, by truck, and by foot – sometimes all in the same week.

I remember when we arrived at one church. As we began unloading from the van, the little old ladies (all the ajumas and halmonies) from around the village were so excited that they gathered in the front yard of the church and started screaming (Aaaaiiieeeeee!!!) and waving their hands like they were dying of heat exhaustion. Then, they started coming toward us. We put out our hands to greet them with a handshake American style, but they bypassed our hands and hugged us with their heads in our armpits – still screaming and waving their hands. But once they really got to hugging us, many of the little old ladies would grab our bottoms – not just a pat, mind you, I'm talking about getting a handful and squeezing! Then, they would maybe bounce a little and stand up and start waving their hands and screaming again (Aaaiiiieeeee!!!). Many of them had tears in their eyes. When we got back to little house behind the church, we started comparing notes. “Did that old lady goose¹ you?” “Yep.” “Hey, man, they all goosed me!”

In one church, we were eating sweet potatoes in the pastor's house before the worship service. Then, we heard singing. I asked if it was time for us to go already. The pastor said, “No, they are just warming up.” They warmed up for another 45 minutes. By the time we came into that church, it was like walking into a stadium for a professional sports event! They had to clear a path just for us to walk. Someone greeted us at the door with leis (those beautiful flower necklaces), then we walked down the center aisle with everyone clapping and chanting. I felt like I was ready to play in the NFL! I have never felt so much like a hero, and all I did was show up.

In another church way out in the swamplands, we were coming for almost a week to do a vacation Bible school. We traveled by boat as far as we could, and then we walked the rest of the way. As we approached the village, we noticed that they had posted flowers all along the walkways. When we got to the village center, they pointed to one of the houses on stilts and said, “This is your house. We just finished it three days ago.” They built a house just for us! They traveled by boats way up river to get the wood and spent weeks building a house so that we would have a comfortable place to stay while we were there for the Bible camp. We just kept saying, “I can't believe they built a house for us!” That is the single greatest act of hospitality I've ever experienced.

Hospitality has a long and ancient history. Showing hospitality to others is “fundamental to Christian identity”², but we've mostly forgotten about its rich roots. In many ways, Christian hospitality is a lost art. To help us join the movement to recover hospitality, today we're going to talk about four basic points:

1. What is hospitality?

2. Hospitality and the Bible

3. Hospitality and History

4. Hospitality and Today

Let's start by defining hospitality. For most of us, hospitality has lost much of its traditional meaning. When we think of hospitality, we usually think of having some friends or family over for dinner. Or if we are in business, we might think of the “hospitality industry” of hotels, resorts, and tourist locations. Or for ladies, we might think of Martha Stewart and cute little napkins and candle holders. We might think of a grandmother or an aunt who always had an open home and an open table. And these are all connected to hospitality, but none of them are the heart of hospitality.

The English word “hospitality” comes from a combination of Latin words meaning “stranger,” “power,” and “equalize.” So then, hospitality is about treating a stranger or guest as an equal power, giving care and help to the other as a person of equal value and worth.³

In the New Testament, the word for “hospitality” is philoxenia, and this comes from two root words “love” + “stranger”. So in the New Testament, “hospitality” literally means “love for strangers.”⁴ This love for strangers is shown through the very practical means of food, shelter, and care.

Christine Pohl wrote an excellent book on the Christian practice of hospitality, and she gave it a very simple title which explains the heart of hospitality: Making Room. Hospitality is making room for others in our hearts, at our tables, in our homes, in our time. Hospitality is opening our doors and our hearts to others.

Hospitality is the living expression of the gospel. We make the gospel real to others by opening our hearts and homes and tables and churches to them. We live out the loving welcome of God in our families and community.

So what is hospitality? It is making room in our hearts and lives for other people to feel loved and cared for.

OK. Now let's talk about hospitality and the Bible. First of all, God is the foundation of all hospitality.

The Bible is full of images of God as the Host, providing us hospitality. God created this world, and then he welcomed us into it. He provides what we need for food and shelter. At great personal cost, God has adopted us into his family, and he welcomes us into his life every day.

Jesus often talked in terms of hospitality. For example, he said, “In my Father's house, there are many rooms. … I am going there to prepare a place for you” (John 14:2). Preparing a place for others in our homes and hearts is one way that we live like Jesus.

The classic story of hospitality is in Genesis 18. Some strangers show up at Abraham's tent, and he quickly invites them to stay for a meal and some rest. It turns out that God himself was one of the guests. God renewed his promise to give Abraham a son, and the host was blessed more than the guest.

The book of Hebrews picks up on this Abraham story, “Keep on loving each other as brothers and sisters. Don't forget to show hospitality to strangers, for some who have done this have entertained angels with out realizing it!” (13:1-2). This is a common theme in hospitality. Many who show hospitality to others finally say that they received more than they gave. That's how it works with love.

But there is one text that stands above all the rest as the deepest call to hospitality. It's often called the story of the sheep and the goats, and it's in Matthew 25. Let's read it now – Matthew 25:31-46.

It is a great mystery. Jesus stands outside our door and knocks. Jesus enters our church alone and looks for a friendly face. Jesus opens an empty closet to look for something warm to wear. Jesus looks in the restaurant window at our full plates and feels his stomach rumble. Jesus' throat is dry with thirst. Jesus is sick and lonely.

We show hospitality because Jesus is there in the person hungry for welcome. We show hospitality because, if we don't, we turn away from Jesus. We show hospitality because that is where we meet God.

Here's a short history of hospitality – really short.

Stage 1 (ancient times): Hospitality was a basic cultural expectation. Traveling was dangerous. All people had the moral duty to welcome and care for strangers.

Stage 2 (early church): Churches lived out the gospel by having fellowship meals with people of all sorts of classes and backgrounds. Sharing food and shelter was a basic requirement of the Christian faith.

Stage 3 (institutionalization): In the 4^th century, as the Roman Empire began to collapse, poor people began flocking to cities like seagulls to a piece of bread. Christian leaders organized hospitals, orphanages, hostels, and hospices to care for these large numbers of needy people.

Stage 4 (neglect): As hospitals and other large institutions became stronger, more reliable, and more professional, ordinary people like you and me forgot all about hospitality – except to a few friends and family.

Stage 5 (individualism): Nowadays, many of us are so busy with our own schedules that we don't even have time for basic hospitality to our closest friends and family.

Stage 6 (recovery): Hospitality is making a comeback. Some Christians around the world are beginning to recover this ancient tradition and restore it to our families, churches, and wider communities.

This is where we come in: Hospitality Today. We can join this recovery process. Hospitality is a central task for our church. Our mission is to be a loving community that changes our world. Practicing generous hospitality will move us forward toward each point of our vision. As we imitate God's loving welcome for others, we will be renewed in God's love together. As we reach out to those who are different from us, we will be transformed and united as a multicultural community. Hospitality is the extreme form of local action. It is showing love to one person at a time. It is causing change in that one person in this one place. But it spreads outward to change the world.

Let me suggest five different ways you can practice hospitality right here in our world, in our church, in your family.

1. Family Dinner Night. Hospitality must have a foundation of a strong loving family. Mother Theresa said, “It is easy to love the people far away. It is not always easy to love those close to us. … Bring love into your home for this is where our love for each other must start.” At least once a week, have a long slow dinner with your family. If you're single, maybe you'll want to restart “Breakfast Tuesday.” A while back, a group of singles fixed breakfast for supper together every Tuesday night.

2. Sunday Lunch. We all eat lunch somewhere after the worship service. This is a great opportunity for hospitality. But don't just go out with the same people every week. Try to branch out. Eat across boundaries. Cross the age gap, the culture gap, the single/married gap. Have “new people radar.” Every Sunday look around, and if you see someone new, invite them to join you for lunch.

3. International Students. KNU is expecting to have 90 Chinese students this semester, and they are starting Owens International College with English-only classes. You can show hospitality by helping us welcome these students to Cheonan. Talk to me if you're interested.

4. Welcome Packets. Often, when foreigners first get to Korea, they have to use the “point and hope” strategy of ordering food. (Raise your hand if you've done the “point and hope”!) It would be a great help to the new foreigners in our community and around Cheonan if we could make and give out a welcome packet to help people get adjusted to life in Cheonan. Also, Shannon and Elena are planning a seminar called “Welcome to Cheonan.” If you'd like to help with this seminar or with the welcome packet, talk to Elena, Shannon, or me.

5. Vow of Stability. In the 6^th century, Benedict called all monks who joined him to take a “vow of stability.” This meant that they were committing to stay in one monastic community until they died. Here in our church, we have almost the opposite. We have an expectation of instability. This makes community formation and long-term hospitality very difficult. Maybe some of us could come together and take a vow of stability – not to stay here forever, but to stay for three or four years. Maybe we could commit ourselves to this church and this place as our home, as our home community, the place of our calling for a while. If you are interested in exploring a vow of stability, then talk with me afterward.

A few weeks ago during our family night, Sarah and I taught Emma the art of Knock-Knock jokes. We made up several jokes using the names of people in our family.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Sarah.
Sarah who?
Sarah doctor in the house?

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Josh.
Josh who?
Josh you wait!

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Emma.
Emma who?
Emma little tea pot, short and stout.

Hospitality is at the heart of the gospel, and the heart of hospitality holds a double mystery. God is the source of all love and hospitality, and God is present in every person who needs our love and help. When someone knocks on the door of our hearts or lives, that just might be God waiting to get in.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Jesus.

Jesus who?

Open the door and find out.

1Here “goose” is slang for touching another person's bottom.

2Christine Pohl, Making Room:Recovering Hospitality as a Christian Tradition, (Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans, 1999), x.

3“Hospitality,” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hospitality, downloaded 2/12/09.

4“Hospitality,” http://www.practicingourfaith.org/prct_hospitality.html, downloaded 2/12/09.

Family Series 5: Finances

KNU International English Church

Josh Broward

February 8, 2009

Matthew 25:14-30

Proverbs 6:1-11

It's time for our next installment of Cajun jokes. One day Boudreaux and Tibedeaux were sitting around complaining about how they never had no money. Boudreaux, he say, “Bra, I'm so broke,¹ my girlfriend and I got married just so we could get the rice they would throw.”

Tibedeaux, he say, “Well, I'm so broke the bank called me yesterday, and they asked for their calendar back.”

Boudreaux, he got another one: “I'm so broke I had to make monthly payments on a Big Mac set at McDonald's.”

Tibedeaux come right back: “Keaw, I'm so broke I was walking down the street with one shoe. They say to me, 'Hey Tib, you lost a shoe!' But I say back, 'No bra, I found one!'”

Boudreax he think hard, and he say one more: “Tib you know that chicken place, KFC, where they say that chicken's finger licking good. Well, I so broke I go there to lick other people's fingers!”

Tibedeaux say, “Yeah, man, you're broke!”²

Half of all married couples fight about money.³ In one survey in the USA, 57% of divorced couples said that money problems were the biggest reason they split up.⁴ Parents are the single greatest influence on a child's future financial success. If the parents manage money well, and if they involve their children in that process, then the kids are much more likely to become good money managers. Finances are the highest rank cause of stress in survey after survey.⁵

Money is a big deal for families. Money is like food. We can't live without it. We've got to use it. We can't stop using it forever. But if we eat too much of it, it can really mess up our lives. The real key is learning to use money wisely. Parents, if you want your kids to be good money managers, you've got to start managing your money well today.

Let me suggest three basic keys for wise money management. These keys will open the doors for financial peace and security for us and for our families.

The first key is simple. REMEMBER WHO THE OWNER IS. Let me show you how this works. I need two volunteers to help me. X, here is 100,000 won. This is your money, for the next 5 minutes. But X, you don’t want your money to sit there and do nothing, right? You want it to do something. You want to invest it. Y, here, is an investment bank. X, give your money to Y. Now, X and Y have a trust relationship, in finances it is called a “fiduciary trust.” X has trusted Y with his money. Y has possession of the money. But let me ask you a question. Who owns the money? Who is the owner of the money? But Y has the money. Possession is 9/10 of the law, right? Not when there is a trust relationship. Y is just the money manager. X is the owner.

Now, imagine that Y’s wife calls him up and says she needs a new pair of shoes, and these shoes that she needs just happen to cost 100,000 won. Y says, “Hey, no problem. X just gave me 100,000 won. Let’s go shopping!” What will happen? The trust relationship will be broken. How is X going to feel about this?

I want you to get this. This is important. Who is God in this picture? X. And who are we? Y. God has entered into a trust relationship with us. God has invested his resources in our bank account. We have possession of the money, but God is the owner. We are God’s investment bank. Like Jesus' story in Matthew 25, we are God’s money managers. God has trusted us with his resources, and now it's up to us to be faithful with them.⁶

The first key to a faithful and successful financial life is: REMEMBER WHO THE OWNER IS. Everything belongs to God. Everything we have is God's. Our job is to invest his resources wisely. We invest in our family through providing. We invest in our church through giving. We invest in our governments through taxes. We invest in the Kingdom by helping other people. But the key is that the money is God's, and our job is to use the money in a way that pleases God. Key #1: REMEMBER WHO THE OWNER IS.

Here's the second key: RUN FROM DEBT. Debt is like a chain. We usually start out small, maybe with some school loans. (I know, some of you are thinking, “My school loans weren’t small.” But they’re manageable.) Then, maybe we buy a house or an apartment that’s bigger than we need, just because everyone else is. (It may be low interest, but it’s still a burden of debt.) Along the way, we had some emergencies – like a new pair of shoes or a night at the movies. Maybe we buy a computer or some furniture that is “90 days - same as cash” – yeah right. We’ve got to get to work, so we buy a car … or two. Then, there’s that vacation that we just had to have because we were so stressed out about all our debts.

Before you know it, we’re all chained up in debt, enslaved to the consequences of our foolish spending. Then, we say, “OK, God, here I am. I want to serve you. Use me please. Uh, what’s that? You want me to help someone? You want me to give to the poor? You want me to help the church? OK, um, ughh! I’ll try.”

Proverbs 22 says: “A prudent person foresees danger and takes precautions. The fool goes blindly on and suffers the consequences. … Just as the rich rule the poor, so the borrower is servant to the lender. ... The wise have wealth and luxury, but fools spend whatever they get.” (22:3, 7, 20). Don't be a fool. Don't become a slave to debt. See the dangers ahead. Cut your spending. Pay off your debts.

Attitude is important here. Proverbs 6 tells the story of a person who got stuck in some bad debt. Then, verse 5 says, “Free yourself, like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter, like a bird from the snare of the fowler.” You need intensity and passion. This danger is real and present. A hunter is after you. Your foot is in a trap. Jump out. Run away. Get yourself free from debt, and you'll be living the second key for a life of financial faithfulness and freedom. Key #2 is: RUN FROM DEBT.

The third key to financial freedom and faithfulness is also simple: SAVE AND INVEST. We need to save and invest in three different ways.

1. We need to save for emergencies. Look around you. With in the next 10 years almost 80% of the people in this room will have a major negative financial crisis (5-10 million won problem).⁷ 4 out of 5 of us! Be ready. Save an emergency fund that is equal to 3-6 months of your expenses. Put it in a separate account, and don't touch it.

2. We need to save for large purchases. Don't borrow money to buy a computer or a refrigerator or a car. Just wait and save your money. You want to make interest, not pay interest. Car salesmen have a saying, “Don't let them walk out the door. A purchase delayed is a purchase not made.” Always walk out the door. Always go home to think about. Always save your money first instead of paying with credit.

3. We need to save for the long term. We need to save for retirement and education costs. Let me ask you a question. Could you find an extra 100,000 (10 man) won to save every month? If you really wanted to, could you put aside 100,000 won to save every month? Almost every working adult in this room could save that much without much trouble.

Check this out. If you save just $100 a month, every month, and you invest that money at 15%, look at the results.

After 30 years: total contributions = $36,000  total value = $701,000.

After 40 years: total contributions = $48,000  total value = $3,140,000.

A little bit for a long time makes a lot! If you don't know about much about money, and you don't know how to invest, don't let that stop you. Just go to your bank or to an investment center, and they will help you. Don't wait. Remember the ant in Proverbs 6. It saves all summer so that it will be ready when winter comes. Starting early and saving consistently are the two most important parts of Key #3: SAVE AND INVEST.

Do you want less stress in your life?

Do you want your kids to have stable finances when they get older?

Do you want a happier marriage?

Then, live by these three basic financial keys.

Key #1: REMEMBER WHO THE OWNER IS (God, not you).

Key #2: RUN FROM DEBT.

Key #3: SAVE AND INVEST.

In the 1960’s a researcher at Stanford University conducted the marshmallow experiment with a group of 4 year olds (5 Korean age). They gave each kid a marshmallow and said, “I have to go out for a few minutes. If you still have that marshmallow when I come back, I’ll give you another one.” Then, the researcher left the room for 20 minutes, and they watched what happened.

Some of the kids ate the marshmallow right away. Some of the kids waited for the reward.

Here’s the really interesting part. They did a follow-up study 14 years later when these kids were graduating high school. The kids who had waited for the extra marshmallow were “better adjusted and more dependable.” Amazingly, they were also better students. On the SAT (the USA’s college entrance exam) the kids who waited scored on average 210 points higher than the kids who couldn’t wait!⁸

Today, everyone gets a marshmallow. Look at those marshmallows. This marshmallow represents all of those things you want to buy now but don’t really need. Look at it. Are you thinking of that stuff? I'm thinking of a Mac computer, some new clothes, and maybe a nice vacation. What do you see? All of that stuff is in this marshmallow.

Now think about our reward. If we don’t eat this marshmallow, we'll get another marshmallow or two. If don't buy that stuff that we want but don't need, then a lot of good things will happen. We can pay off our debts. We can save enough money that an emergency won't be a financial disaster. We can send our kids to school. We can retire without worry. We can give more to the church. We can help more people. We can rest easy at night because we know that money is not a problem for us. Imagine how your life would be different if you were financially free. Imagine what you could do. Imagine how you could join God's mission of blessing the world through us.

That's a lot of marshmallows!

Don't eat your marshmallow. Talk about it as a family, and decide together that you aren't going to eat your marshmallow.

REMEMBER WHO THE OWNER IS.

RUN FROM DEBT.

SAVE AND INVEST.

And don't eat your marshmallow!

1In this context, “broke” means being very, very poor or having no money.

2 http://www.basicjokes.com/djoke.php?id=5374.

3Dan Kadlec, “Don't Let Money Ruin Your Marriage,” Money Magazine, April 22, 2008, downloaded February 6, 2009, http://money.cnn.com/2008/04/21/pf/boomer_may.moneymag/index.htm.

4“Why Money Is the Leading Cause of Divorce,” Jet, Nov. 18, 1996, downloaded Oct. 18, 2007. http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1355/is_n1_v91/ai_18930297/pg_1.

5Anna Hart, “7 Leading Causes of Stress,” 2007,downloaded February 6, 2009. http://ezinearticles.com/?7-Leading-Causes-of-Stress&id=473303.

6 Dave Ramsey, Financial Peace video series.

7 Quoted in Dave Ramsey, “Super Savers.”

8 “Deferred Gratification,” Wikipedia, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impulse_control, downloaded 10.25.07.